Thread: "Stop caring what other people think of you"

That is biologically impossible

Do this instead

It is in our biological hard-wiring to be accepted 'in the tribe'

Being outcast from the tribe could mean death in the past

Making our desire to be accepted so strong because of it's survival roots

Only one type of person is truly able to not care what others think of them...

Sociopaths

Anyone else who claims to not care what others think

...are often trying hard to show how much they don't care what others think

Which means they care what others think

So then what are our options?

BECOME A SOCIOPATH

...jokes

There's a subtle tweak we can make

Satisfying our primal desires while not being enslaved by the opinions of others

1) Develop & gain clarity on who matters

The list of people whose opinions you do value. People you do care about

Notice how small the list is. Handful of friends, partner, certain family members

This is your established tribe

The extended circle of acquaintances, their approval is a bonus not a requirement

It's truly not needed in your life. Cool if you get it, cool if you don't

Clarity in who your core tribe is satisfies the primal desire for acceptance

It is better to have a core tribe of 5 people who are 9/10 or 10/10 aligned with you

Versus a large group of 50 acquaintances who are 4/10 aligned with you

Go for 10!

"Liked by many loved by none" is becoming more common in this social media world

2) Purpose

"When nothing matters everything matters"

When the slot for purpose is not occupied

Every little thing that happens day to day slides into the slot of purpose

Including what others think of you

Your brain's RAS focuses on select things

When your thoughts aren't filled with your goals for the day, things to do, plans with your tribe, etc

Every petty little thing becomes the purpose

Including chasing the approval of everyone and caring WAY too much what others think

The term "don't care what others think" gets thrown around a lot

Unless you're a sociopath that's not going to happen for you

> Get clear on who your tribe is to satisfy that drive

> Have purpose, goals, hobbies so that what other people think is of lower importance to you

^ With those two things checked off

Your internal frame will hold more weight, more real to you than what happens externally

Then you truly will be able to "not care what others think" instead of having to forcefully act it

Thank you for reading,

Cheers
- Yous