noah fence but my husband and i tried our level best to get the families on either side to scale tf down & it caused us a LOT OF trouble cuz it made both sides to think the other side is "not interested" in doing this esp. since this was an interfaith wedding so it's easier said https://twitter.com/pepsiwithastraw/status/1278697216228524033

than done to say that the groom's family shouldn't expect anything because given how much our parents depend on 4 log to give their opinion, they'd go above & beyond to prove that they did everything even when the groom's fam didn't ask. the baraat at my wedding was 10 people

and u know what my parents were concerned about? log puchenge itne kam log kyu aye? khushi se nahi kar rahe kya shaadi? milni mein log kaise manage karenge? my in-laws, the sweetest bunch of people, said pls don't give anything to us. if u really want, give it to ur daughter

we understand parents save up their entire life for their daughter's wedding & we respect that but u know what my parents did? gave gifts to my husband's fam + extended family, each & every member. so even if the groom says nahi chahye, what's stopping parents from giving anyway

OR not taking offence that ladka said nahi chahye?

I get that the point of the OP is don't ask but like......my husband is the most unusual damaad, the weirdest jija to my brother because he doesn't act like an asshole. my mom would tell me stories of how my cousin's husband would EXPECT her brother to do certain things cuz he's

the jija & I stg my husband would never do such assholery so he's considered out there. he didn't grow up with this culture for the most part because he didn't grow up in India so when I'd tell him that pls don't say no when my parents wanna spend literal THOUSANDS on u, he'd

be very fkn confused.

so tl;dr - not asking for anything basically offends Indian parents to the point that they assume that ladke vale interested hi nahi hain AND THAT'S WORSE. also this is from a love marriage pov, I'm sure it's much worse in case of arranged marriages.

end of rant sorry for ekdum bakwas