If someone you know and trust and respect is outed as an abuser (in any form of violence: sexual, racial, familial, gender-based, racial, etc.) and you’re struggling with the “how did I not see it?” Please understand: (a thread)

Serial abusers are skilled in the art of charm, gaslighting, and personal protection. They build trust with others to discredit victims of their abuse. They use you against those who speak out. (Continued)

This is why listening to victims who come forward is so paramount to the ongoing fight against this damaging behavior. Believe victims, and question the perpetrators who have been building the wall of protection around themselves. (Continued)

Know that it’s entirely likely that “friend” has been intentionally using you as a brick in that wall to discredit those who would speak out against them. “I know XYZ and they would never do that!” Is exactly what they want from you. (Continued)

So as all of these brave call-outs continue, I implore you to listen and evaluate the role you may have been duped into. Think critically and learn, adjust. It is emotionally evolved to alter your opinion of someone based on new evidence.

It isn’t your fault if you were tricked. It is your responsibility to believe those speaking out and not default to standing by the side of the abuser.