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Morning, Twitter family
I’m about to make a thread on red flags/ signs you’re in an abusive relationship.
Please feel free to add a red flag I didn’t mention.
I’m about to make a thread on red flags/ signs you’re in an abusive relationship.
Please feel free to add a red flag I didn’t mention.
I am obviously going to take my time with it. So don’t mind the intervals in between
It’s no secret that I’ve been a victim and now a survivor of Gender Based Violence.
A painful experience that many other women, especially in my country, face on a daily basis.
A painful experience that many other women, especially in my country, face on a daily basis.
I’m making this thread because I really aim to save the lives of abuse victims.
Ready? Let’s goooo and save lives!!!
1. Your partner isolates you.
In the beginning this seems very cute! That your partner doesn’t want you roaming around and only wants you to himself or herself.
In the beginning this seems very cute! That your partner doesn’t want you roaming around and only wants you to himself or herself.
Isolation is not cute. The aim of that isolation is to make sure your abuser manages to put you into a space where he/she can abuse you and know you won’t have anyone to run to.
For example:
For example:
You distance yourself from your friends to a put where you lose touch with them.
You never attend any gatherings before getting permission from your partner.
It goes on for a while until you are brainwashed and believe you don’t have anyone and can’t run to anyone.
You never attend any gatherings before getting permission from your partner.
It goes on for a while until you are brainwashed and believe you don’t have anyone and can’t run to anyone.
2. Your partner gets angry at every little mistake.
The smallest of mistakes like burning their food or overcooking their food.
I use the food example because I saw it a lot. At a stage I was even afraid to cook!!!
The smallest of mistakes like burning their food or overcooking their food.
I use the food example because I saw it a lot. At a stage I was even afraid to cook!!!
3. You always need permission before doing anything.
It’s tricky because there’s a fine line between informing your partner you want to do something & asking permission.
If you constantly have to say “baby I was wondering, can I please..”
Then you might be in a problem
It’s tricky because there’s a fine line between informing your partner you want to do something & asking permission.
If you constantly have to say “baby I was wondering, can I please..”
Then you might be in a problem
That “can I please go here?” “Can I please see her?” “Can I please”
Is a problem.
As an adult there are decisions you need to make for yourself without seeking validation.
Is a problem.
As an adult there are decisions you need to make for yourself without seeking validation.
3. I’m at number 3 right?
Anxiety around your partner.
PLEASE READ THIS CAREFULLY!
If you find yourself constantly anxious about being around your partner, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, release yourself from that relationship. Love is NOT fear. Love is NOT anxiety.
Anxiety around your partner.
PLEASE READ THIS CAREFULLY!
If you find yourself constantly anxious about being around your partner, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, release yourself from that relationship. Love is NOT fear. Love is NOT anxiety.
4. A partner who finds NOTHING WRONG with swearing at you during arguments!
As soon as a partner breaks you down during a misunderstanding, there’s a problem. We can argue or misunderstand each other but as soon as it gets to “you’re a b*.” Or “f* you, you’re useless” then
As soon as a partner breaks you down during a misunderstanding, there’s a problem. We can argue or misunderstand each other but as soon as it gets to “you’re a b*.” Or “f* you, you’re useless” then
5. Making remarks to break you down.
The “she looks better than you. When I met you, you were so ugly”
I’ve heard this coming from my ex. He made derogatory remarks about my looks all the time. All the time.
It wasn’t physical abuse but it was definitely emotional abuse.
The “she looks better than you. When I met you, you were so ugly”
I’ve heard this coming from my ex. He made derogatory remarks about my looks all the time. All the time.
It wasn’t physical abuse but it was definitely emotional abuse.
6. Trying to be too perfect so that you don’t make mistakes.
This goes down to “anxiety around your partner”
When you find yourself walking on egg shells all the time, trying to impress unnecessarily then you’re in trouble.
This goes down to “anxiety around your partner”
When you find yourself walking on egg shells all the time, trying to impress unnecessarily then you’re in trouble.
7. Your partner controls how you should feel!
If you’re not allowed to feel a certain way and it is constantly shut down, this is another red flag to pay close attention to!
If you’re not allowed to feel a certain way and it is constantly shut down, this is another red flag to pay close attention to!
8. Your partner threatens you. “If you don’t do this, I will...”
Please believe their threats because abusive partners, when “provoked” enough, do and can react!
Please believe their threats because abusive partners, when “provoked” enough, do and can react!
9. The partner who constantly checks to see where you are, with who, what you’re doing and why you’re doing it.
Guys, you think this is cute. This is actually dangerous. A partner who monitors your moves then gets upset if he/she feels you’re not where he/ she wants you.
Guys, you think this is cute. This is actually dangerous. A partner who monitors your moves then gets upset if he/she feels you’re not where he/ she wants you.
The most common one “You’re cheating on me.”
An abusive partner will ALWAYS accuse you of cheating just to justify the way they treat you.
I was shocked to also find out that my ex til today tells everyone I cheated.
An abusive partner will ALWAYS accuse you of cheating just to justify the way they treat you.
I was shocked to also find out that my ex til today tells everyone I cheated.
It’s an accusation they make to justify their behavior towards you.
11. The partner ALWAYS blames you for the downfall in the relationship. It is NEVER their fault.
12. Have you ever heard “no one else will want you if I leave”
There’s your red flag. A partner who thinks they own you & that you’re unfavorable to others, is a problem. To them, they own you and are “doing you a favour by being with you”.
Have I experienced this? Absolutely!
There’s your red flag. A partner who thinks they own you & that you’re unfavorable to others, is a problem. To them, they own you and are “doing you a favour by being with you”.
Have I experienced this? Absolutely!
13. Now we never talk about this but a partner who breaks, damages or destroys things you love as a form of punishment is abusive.
They have no regard for what you feel.
I lost memories of my son. All of them destroyed. A very underrated form of abuse that I faced.
They have no regard for what you feel.
I lost memories of my son. All of them destroyed. A very underrated form of abuse that I faced.
14. They make you do things you don’t want to do during sex.
They hold you in a way you don’t want to be held during sex.
They use sex as a punishment and not for pleasure. Watch out!!!
They hold you in a way you don’t want to be held during sex.
They use sex as a punishment and not for pleasure. Watch out!!!
15. They have emotions that go from 1-100 in .2 seconds. Your partner can be VERY loving in a way that convinces you that they will change.
Then 2 seconds later, you’re already running a sweat because your partner is upset.
Then 2 seconds later, you’re already running a sweat because your partner is upset.
16. You start to believe that “maybe I deserve the punishment”. You blame yourself. You believe that you can only be the wrong one.
17. You are scared to leave your partner!!!
You want to leave but you are afraid of the aftermath. That, my darling is a huge red flag that should not be ignored at all!
You want to leave but you are afraid of the aftermath. That, my darling is a huge red flag that should not be ignored at all!
18. Financial abuse...financial abuse...
Your partner holds your cards and not for a good reason.
Your partner controls your spending.
Your partner monitors your bank statements.
Your partner holds your cards and not for a good reason.
Your partner controls your spending.
Your partner monitors your bank statements.
This is not cute. This is not “what’s yours is mine.”
I swear it’s the worst thing to go through. You can’t spend your money peacefully because your swipes will click on your partner’s phone or he has access to see your spending.
I swear it’s the worst thing to go through. You can’t spend your money peacefully because your swipes will click on your partner’s phone or he has access to see your spending.
These kind of things sound like a joke but once you’re in an abusive relationship, you really end up somehow “brainwashed”. You are controlled.
You struggle to make independent decisions.
You struggle to make independent decisions.
19. Your partner knows how to switch personalities VERY WELL!!
He can be the most respectful partner to anyone else but as soon as he/she turns to face you, their face and energy as well as body language changes! They are very good at this, they master this.
He can be the most respectful partner to anyone else but as soon as he/she turns to face you, their face and energy as well as body language changes! They are very good at this, they master this.
