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Type 6 Defense Mechanism: Projection - A Thread
Projection, by definition, is a defense mechanism that assigns and pushes undesirable feelings onto another person or external force rather than admitting to and/or dealing with the difficult emotions and dark thoughts.
Projection, by definition, is a defense mechanism that assigns and pushes undesirable feelings onto another person or external force rather than admitting to and/or dealing with the difficult emotions and dark thoughts.
If I would use a word to describe how 6s handle themselves in tandem with how they handle the outside world, DISSONANT is the immediate word that comes to mind.
This enneagram type is plagued by self-doubt and distrust in themselves, and this constant cycle haunts them.
This enneagram type is plagued by self-doubt and distrust in themselves, and this constant cycle haunts them.
However, rather than saying what is wrong, handling the difficult emotions, or settling on a way to act, what 6s will do is project all the negative emotions, thoughts, and claims onto people since finding a source to blame is easier and less terrifying than taking the blame -
- yourself and dealing with the horrifying reality of not knowing and not feeling secure.
This feeds into the dangerous and destructive cycle known as the "self-fulfilling prophecy" where the 6 will become so convinced of their delusions and traits that they pushed onto -
This feeds into the dangerous and destructive cycle known as the "self-fulfilling prophecy" where the 6 will become so convinced of their delusions and traits that they pushed onto -
- other people that they do not realize that they were the ones who started it to begin with!
As an example:
Say a 6 has insecurities with how they are perceived among a group due to either a bad past experience or an extreme lack of self-esteem. Said 6 might push an -
As an example:
Say a 6 has insecurities with how they are perceived among a group due to either a bad past experience or an extreme lack of self-esteem. Said 6 might push an -
- "Us vs Them" narrative unconsciously onto the other people around them when really they have nothing to do with this line of thinking at all. People become annoyed and weary by the 6s antics, they leave, and the 6 buys into said story and keeps the pattern of behavior going.
With that in mind, how does one break this cycle?
I am still learning how to do this as I am not perfect, but I've noticed that whenever you have a thought about someone, even something as simple as you believe someone might be angry with you, take a step back for a moment.
I am still learning how to do this as I am not perfect, but I've noticed that whenever you have a thought about someone, even something as simple as you believe someone might be angry with you, take a step back for a moment.
Taking a step back and allowing yourself to pause before thinking and action is the crucial gap between projection and genuine communication.
After the pause, ask yourself, "Am I wondering this because I am genuinely concerned for them, or is this a manifestation of my fear?"
After the pause, ask yourself, "Am I wondering this because I am genuinely concerned for them, or is this a manifestation of my fear?"
If you hear and feel a scary, deafening silence, you already know the answer.
After that, calmly and gently acknowledge that you are afraid or perhaps feeling overwhelmed in some way. DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP. There is nothing wrong with saying you don't know what to do.
After that, calmly and gently acknowledge that you are afraid or perhaps feeling overwhelmed in some way. DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP. There is nothing wrong with saying you don't know what to do.
The next part is the difficult part, and that is finding a way to express those difficult feelings and vulnerability without projecting, fleeing, freezing, or fighting.
Write down the thoughts, fears, and emotions that are coming through regardless of how ugly they can be.
Write down the thoughts, fears, and emotions that are coming through regardless of how ugly they can be.
If you get stuck in your own anxiety or emotional state, ask someone for help to talk through it step by step.
Admittedly, 6s, myself included, have a tendency to get stuck up our own asses, so outside objective perspectives help us realize that things aren't that scary.
Admittedly, 6s, myself included, have a tendency to get stuck up our own asses, so outside objective perspectives help us realize that things aren't that scary.
With having a stress line to 3, I know how difficult it is to admit that you are struggling, broken, or terrified.
That doesn't mean you shouldn't try.
Don't keep kicking up the dust if you're unsure. Take the time to cultivate true thoughts and feelings.
That doesn't mean you shouldn't try.
Don't keep kicking up the dust if you're unsure. Take the time to cultivate true thoughts and feelings.
