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Start a podcast with your friend about your favorite band. The only qualifications you need are Zoom, a favorite band, and a friend who makes you laugh.
After you record, ask them if they had a good time. Focus on the good time. Talk about how you both could make the podcast even more fun. Then you make sure to do it again soon. Then you do it again, and you always try your best.
Then start to think about what it would be like to listen and try really hard to give them a really comfortable, thoughtful place to be. Tell them you want them to feel like they are getting good things from what you to do say.
The hardest part about being a good person to listen to is that you have to teach yourself that you are never not allowed to listen. You are going to make the conversation difficult to understand if you are not responding to what the other person said. Listening is really hard.
It is especially hard to listen when you think that what you have to say is the thing that people should have to listen to. You will notice this when you listen back to the conversation and you just totally missed what the other person was saying. It is embarassing.
But you are allowed to say to yourself that it's okay that you missed your spot. You can remind yourself that if someone's listening that means they're choosing to. Why listen to something you hate? You could be listening to literally anything else. Fuck you.
You do have to sit with the knowledge that your friend just said something to you, and that you were choosing not to listen. That's your friend, they know all of the negative things about your personality, including how poor you can be at listening. But they're friend anyway.
Jesus christ could you imagine the fucking patience it takes to be around you at all like ever and they still choose to be your friend. They could be anyone else's friend, you don't deserve their patience. But they're your friend.
You know that you've gotta do better because your friend deserves better. It's strange when you think about what you have to do to be a better listener. Listening, i swear to fucking god, it comes natural in the way all your favorite songwriters feel cosmic.
When you listen to the songs you feel like someone was listening to you. When you hear those songs you remembered the first time you listened to someone who was listening to you. Through some cosmos it found you where you are. That place im sure is the same place your friend was.
It brought you together and no matter where they are, there the they are. You are older now, but these songs are also young. What have you learned since then? What are you learning now? What the fuck kind of learning are you doing right now? Are you listening?
People are listening to you. Give them a reason to listen to you and tell them that it's important right now for you to listen and tell them all that you're there to listen. You could never imagine who might be out there listening. That they choose to listen to you.
Encourage them to listen the way you encourage yourself to listen better for your friend and for everyone else who's listening. Always wink at anyone who's listening close enough. Try to make them laugh as hard as you can make your friend laugh.
My phone's gonna day, i got very into writing this and didn't have much of a plan and i really hope i didn't fuck up a pronoun. I try to be mindful, i haven't looked back yet
Real quick if you are white, you are wrong about everything. It sucks, but it's true, and it is disappointing when you don't listen.
