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Growing up as a girl being in many different predominantly male friend groups (real life and online,) specifically where we all bond through gaming, I have experienced a lot of exclusion, belittling, and just not being taken seriously in general.
I’ve found it difficult to contribute to a lot of conversations, & not for a lack of knowledge about the subject. With so many male voices speaking, it’s easy for a woman’s to get drowned out.
There are different reasons for why that is though. Most of them I think a lot of men are not aware of or are doing unconsciously.
Based on my own experiences & observations, I’ve found that men behave differently when they’re in a group of other men vs. when they’re having smaller conversations. They tend to open up more & reveal emotion. In groups, most things like that are readily dismissed.
I think that contributes to the dismissive behavior some guys exhibit towards their female friends. In regards to my issue, when in groups I’ve found a lot of the time men will not engage or acknowledge me or something I’ve said.
If my mic broke up, they won’t ask me to repeat & dismiss that I even said anything. I feel a lot of it has to do with not appearing to be a “white knight” in front of the rest of the group. That’s the most simple, dumb, & only way I can think of to explain this notion.
And I won’t get into it, but there’s the fact that women get treated differently based on if a guy is attracted to them or not. Even if it’s their friend. Again, I think a lot of guys don’t realize they do half this shit.
I’ve experienced it all across the board. While waiting in Call of Duty lobbies, hanging in guild chats, during D&D sessions, during B-movie screenings, at cons, conversations at the local coffee house, & relaxing in Discord voice chats. I think most of it is unintentional.
I guess the point of these posts is maybe to help guys be a little more introspective, to realize their own behavior towards their female friends & to make small changes to help their voices feel included.
I’m generalizing a lot obviously, & again,these thoughts are based on my own personal experiences and observations throughout my life.
