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It’s hardly novel to talk about how many deeply distressing things have happened over the past four years, but recently I’ve been particularly struck by the incoherence of it all. The way that plainly visible facts, beyond any possibility of dispute, are so readily challenged.
Anyone who listens to the man speak or pays any attention to what he says should immediately understand why Donald Trump is not fit to hold any office at any level of governance. You don’t even have to hold an opinion about his policies. Yet people simply pretend not to see it.
Anyone who is even slightly aware of the recent protests should immediately see that policing in this country is completely broken. But no matter how many black people die or how many peaceful protesters are needlessly injured, people pretend there’s no other choice but anarchy.
COVID-19 has revealed that science denialism is not even halted by hundreds of thousands of deaths. We always hoped climate deniers and anti-vaxxers were just burying their heads in the sand, and they’d change their tune if it ever affected them personally. But I guess not.
I sometimes read right-wing US news media, just to have some insight into what these people are immersed in. And sure, mainstream media has flaws. But there is no comparison. None. Yet the constant gaslighting persists, demanding that blatant lies deserve a seat at the table.
It dawns on you that its audience doesn’t care about discerning fact from fiction. They don’t care about seeking truth. They’ve been told they are fighting for everything they know and hold dear, and you can’t afford to question when you think your entire way of life is at stake.
Others are simply too emotionally invested in their beliefs to be able to reject them. That would call decades of their own actions and arguments into question. Those beliefs have become part of their identity, and it’s too difficult and too painful to disentangle from it now.
And there is always something more comforting to turn to. Something unchallenging. Some justification, some clear evidence they’re fighting the right fight. Any legitimate offense is exaggerated into a reason to suspect every position of anyone even remotely associated with it.
These are patterns of emotional abuse. Studying it all through that lens is eye-opening. Breaking any abusive cycle is hard, but you start to question if breaking one entrenched, reinforced, and weaponized at this scale is even possible. What can we possibly hope to do?
I have not been able to come up with an answer. Sure, we can vote, we can protest, we can use what privilege we have to support causes we believe in. But truthfully, I have very little confidence that anything I can do will have any meaningful impact on the underlying problem.
And the dissonance grows ever louder, as we wake up every day and pretend things are somehow okay even as we sit in our homes and read today’s scandal over breakfast. Then we put that away and work on “engineering a good product.” Because, bluntly, we don’t know what else to do.
I’m not trying to say all is rotten and all hope is lost. There is so much good, in spite of it all. But I wonder, as we collectively ask one another how we’re doing and lie like clockwork, “I’m doing alright”—who is this act helping?
And just as importantly: who is it hurting?
And just as importantly: who is it hurting?
