(TW: pedophilia)

In my tenure as a psychotherapist I worked with many clients who were pedophiles, both individuals who were offenders, and those who had impulses they resisted. It is a difficult population to work with, but not untreatable.

Recovery looks a lot like recovery from substance abuse. Accountability, appropriate disclosures, regular therapy an/or support groups, and AVOIDANCE OF TRIGGERS. "Exposure therapy" with real children for those with sexual feelings for them is not advised, for the obvious risk.

The situation with John Ortberg highlights two issues in the church that have caused great harm: 1) Covering up secrets, and 2) Believing that pastors can do the job of therapists. Though this is made all the more fraught by the fact that Ortberg holds a degree in clinical psych.

There has been a lot said about the covering up of secrets, especially with the #churchtoo movement in the past year. But you can see how deep this runs, when proponents of this movement were simultaneously keeping secrets. This impulse is ingrained. It is systemic.

But I want to talk a bit more about the issue of pastors acting as therapists. I've worked in a church, and was married to a pastor-turned-therapist for 20 years, and this practice continues to happen with very little pushback.

MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES ARE NOT SPIRITUAL ISSUES. They are not. There can be overlap, of course. Spirituality and faith can help and offer comfort. But suicidality, depression, anxiety, PTSD, trauma, pedophilia . . . these are not things solved by prayer alone.

Most Christians acknowledge that physical ailments should not be left to prayer or pastoral counseling alone. You don't meet with the pastor to address your broken arm or diabetes or breast cancer. You ask for prayer and turn to God but you also turn to a medical professional.

So it is baffling to me that so many Christians will put their mental health issues in the hands of pastors, or take treatment advice from a pastor instead of a therapist. And don't get me started on premarital counseling from pastors instead of trained therapists.

This practice endangers people. It puts abused partners at risk as pastors encourage them to stay. It puts sexually abused individuals at risk as pastors encourage them to "forgive" without reporting. It puts depressed people at risk as a chemical imbalance goes unaddressed.

And yes, I know. #notallpastors and some pastors are not doing these things, and give great counsel and refer out when needed. But unless they have a license to practice therapy, pastors need to stop practicing therapy.

And it sounds like Ortberg was both attempting to condone a treatment plan for his son that was way outside of clinical guidelines (that he should have known about given his degree) and also asking the people around him to collude with both the "treatment plan" and the secrecy.

I have to think that if an actual (non-family member) therapist were consulted the outcome would have been different. I sincerely hope no children were harmed. But this was RECKLESS.

Also, as a side-note, this is a reminder that pedophiles look like regular people and that YOU NEVER KNOW. Which is why I strongly believe that churches and schools and sports should encourage all youth leaders, coaches, mentors, etc away from being with kids 1-on-1.