There's this very infantile tone y'all take when y'all argue that most people aren't "built" for monogamy.

It's the excuse made to not hold abusive men accountable for the harm they inflict on their partners.

People are "built" for the things they want. If someone wants to commit, they do. They agree on boundaries, the definitions of what mutual respect looks like and etc. etc.

And this happens in both monogamous and polyamorous relationships.

The problem is no one is discussing how men are "built" or "socialized" to harm and face zero consequences for the harm done -- in any form of commitment.

There's no discussion of accountability and consent. Everything is "Well that's just how these dusty niggas are!"

So, we're supposed to accept that? Men don't have the choice to be decent human beings too? Am I supposed to accept whatever trash comes to my front door?

Grown men aren't children. They aren't feral animals who grew up in the wild raised by baboons and snakes. You can hold them accountable. You can keep your standards. You don't have to lower any expectations you have for current or future partners.