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Im going to do a thread on random things Ive learned from years of therapy:
When people say “sleep on it” you may actually be more of a 48-72 hour type of person who needs more time to think before you respond.
I would sleep on it and still respond RASHLY. So take more time
When people say “sleep on it” you may actually be more of a 48-72 hour type of person who needs more time to think before you respond.
I would sleep on it and still respond RASHLY. So take more time
We make a lot of assumptions. Mostly based out of fear.
“He’s not hurting like I am.”
Do I absolutely know this to be true? What are some reasons this assumption may not be true?
“He’s in therapy. He’s divorced. I know he is lonely.”
Test your assumptions.
“He’s not hurting like I am.”
Do I absolutely know this to be true? What are some reasons this assumption may not be true?
“He’s in therapy. He’s divorced. I know he is lonely.”
Test your assumptions.
Reality testing is great for stopping yourself from thinking in ABSOLUTES.
“I will never find love.”
“I will never make it.”
What are three ways to reality test this?
“I dont know the future. This could work out. I’m up for this new job. My friends want me to succeed.”
“I will never find love.”
“I will never make it.”
What are three ways to reality test this?
“I dont know the future. This could work out. I’m up for this new job. My friends want me to succeed.”
During an anxiety attack (which can strike at any moment, including in public) grounding yourself to the present moment can help calm us.
Use the 5 senses:
What can I see: this tree
Taste: my coffee
Smell: the fresh grass
Touch: my cotton shirt
Hear: that car going by
Repeat
Use the 5 senses:
What can I see: this tree
Taste: my coffee
Smell: the fresh grass
Touch: my cotton shirt
Hear: that car going by
Repeat
Healing can be a lifelong process. It’s cliche that finding a therapist is like dating but it’s true. If you don’t click after some sessions, it’s okay to move on.
But a lot of us aren’t just “cured” from medication or treatment. I’ve done TMS, EMDR, IOP. I’m still searching
But a lot of us aren’t just “cured” from medication or treatment. I’ve done TMS, EMDR, IOP. I’m still searching
I have accepted that therapy and treatment is the maintenance I need to live the life I want, given my trauma.
Despite my past suicide attempts, I’m still searching for ways to heal.
There is no one-size fits all. But I put things from each treatment in my coping toolbox
Despite my past suicide attempts, I’m still searching for ways to heal.
There is no one-size fits all. But I put things from each treatment in my coping toolbox
I hated people telling me to meditate because it felt flippant about my trauma. So Im not here to tell you want to do.
But *I* gave in and meditated, it lowered my daily base level of anxiety. If I was starting at a medium/high, doing it daily lowered it to medium. And then lower
But *I* gave in and meditated, it lowered my daily base level of anxiety. If I was starting at a medium/high, doing it daily lowered it to medium. And then lower
Practicing gratitude sucks because who wants to feel grateful when your life feels like shit?
But forcing myself to write down 5 things I was grateful for (my dog, finding a doctor for my chronic illness, etc) it made it easier to come up with more and more.
But forcing myself to write down 5 things I was grateful for (my dog, finding a doctor for my chronic illness, etc) it made it easier to come up with more and more.
I started thanking the universe for the very small things I had (even though I was rightfully bitter about allll of my trauma and felt like shit) it started to give me more and more things to be thankful for. I started attracting more people and opportunities
Oversharing: yall. Some of us over share immediately because we think if we start with all the bad stuff, then they can’t hurt us, or then they can peace out just like we knew they would!
Not everyone deserves your immediate trust or life story. You can ease in
Not everyone deserves your immediate trust or life story. You can ease in
Boundaries: ive done so much therapy, what i know about myself, is I’m not good at dating someone who wants to date multiple people.
Saying this is REALLY scary! But not saying it hurts ME a lot. Would I rather keep this in or find someone who is like me, however long it takes
Saying this is REALLY scary! But not saying it hurts ME a lot. Would I rather keep this in or find someone who is like me, however long it takes
When dating, it’s okay that this person wants a certain type of relationship and it’s okay that I don’t! Both of those can exist.
Letting go is SCARY, but, if at the end of the day, our needs don’t sync up, I need to do what is best for me.
Letting go is SCARY, but, if at the end of the day, our needs don’t sync up, I need to do what is best for me.
My favorite element of DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) is that two seemingly opposing statements can exist at the same time and both be true.
“I love him AND I want to move on from him.”
“I’m thankful for this job AND want to leave and start a new career path.”
“I love him AND I want to move on from him.”
“I’m thankful for this job AND want to leave and start a new career path.”
This element of DBT is great for validating your mixed feelings.
It really helped me accept where I was at. Pretending I didn’t love someone WASNT helping. You can love them AND want to move on. You can love your parent AND know you need to distance yourself from their addiction
It really helped me accept where I was at. Pretending I didn’t love someone WASNT helping. You can love them AND want to move on. You can love your parent AND know you need to distance yourself from their addiction
I did IOP: intensive outpatient program. For several hours a day, I went to a crisis program. (I did this last year! While i was pitching a tv show. After i was a disney character. While filming for the CW). You really do not know someone’s life. Or what they are going through
I say this as a reminder, to reality check what we see of others online. To check our assumptions.
I also want to highlight the work IOP programs do. Mine was covered by insurance. Sometimes you just need help! Sometimes we are in crisis. Sometimes we say, enough is enough
I also want to highlight the work IOP programs do. Mine was covered by insurance. Sometimes you just need help! Sometimes we are in crisis. Sometimes we say, enough is enough
Doing a crisis program felt wild. I don’t have time! I shouldn’t have to do this! The people who hurt me should!
But that meant I had a safe place to work through trauma. It meant staying alive! AND that meant I got to do the work I love to do! I get to still write and act!
But that meant I had a safe place to work through trauma. It meant staying alive! AND that meant I got to do the work I love to do! I get to still write and act!
Biggest thing I hope you take away from this thread: trauma is not always ONE BIG EVENT. It’s not always going to war, or surviving 9/11 (but these are definitely trauma!)
It could be a neglectful or emotionally abusive parent. It could be BULLYING. These add up over time
It could be a neglectful or emotionally abusive parent. It could be BULLYING. These add up over time
A lot of my trauma is from people who treated me so badly I wanted to die. My dad, my school bullies, maybe even some men who acted like i was disposable. They seeped into the foundation of who I was, at a very young age.
That takes a long time to undo.
That takes a long time to undo.
I feel this goes without saying but Black and Brown folx just existing in this country, have trauma. On top of THIS we may also suffer from parents, bullies, eating disorders, emotionally abusive lovers, microaggressions at work and school.
This all adds up to: trauma
This all adds up to: trauma
This thread will not resonate with everyone, but I hope sharing some of my experiences does help at least one person.
We are constantly healing. There is no straight trajectory to healing. It zigs and zags and takes time. But you do belong here.
We are constantly healing. There is no straight trajectory to healing. It zigs and zags and takes time. But you do belong here.
