Thread by @IronicLark, Even though I'm eternally self-conscious about talking either too much or too [...]

Even though I'm eternally self-conscious about talking either too much or too often about these sorts of things (for reasons I'll explain along the way), all recent events have made me feel more and more about talking about a certain topic
Shall we, then?

The discussions about shitty guys in industries always tend to veer in specific directions: Victims and mistreatment of those they're responsible for.
Today I wanna offer a new angle, not to disapprove either in any way but rather to add to them.

A part that tends to be unspoken is that of those outside, how shitty guys tend to splash to literally everyone they don't target but those in cahoots with them
While I can't say I've been a direct victim in the usual sense, I've dealt with enough asshats to be a casualty still

There's the guy that we worked with once that decided to make a VA-11 Hall-A fan meeting without telling us or inviting us (we were right there).

There's the guy not-so-subtly trying to hit on a colleague in the middle of a fucking work email thread.

There's the guy that pestered a promoter at our booth

There's the guy that lied behind our backs about working with us

There's the guy that all but ate another girl in the middle of an event dinner

There's the guy that opened my backpack to put some stuff in it w/o permission

There's the guys that decided to put us as one of their products after one meeting where nothing was agreed on and excused themselves saying they were fans and just wanted to promote us in their... business website... alongside all of their other products.

And that's just SOME relating to my job, if I talked about others I've seen or have to dealt with beyond that I'd be here all day.
While the big things surfacing are important, it's also important to highlight everything else to let know it wasn't an isolated thing.

There's of course all the guys bragging about knowing us, working with us or helping us, some of these allegations ranging from technically true to bold-faced lie

At some point we apparently became a commodity and of course people wanted a piece of us.

The video games industry has helped me make some really good friends, making games has helped me connect with people from all over the world that I regularly chat with. Hell, I'm living in Japan in no small part thanks to the help of colleagues that went above and beyond for us

However for every lovely encounter there's a sour one. Video game events are a weird combination of looking forward to meeting cool people and fans, and keeping an eye out for undesirable familiar faces. And over time the net gain has become less and less honestly.

And I'm tired of not enjoying those social events because of some bad actors.

I'm tired about said shitheads sulling the reputation of the medium that has given me so much.

I'm tired of seeing people reconsider everything because of a shitty name attached to something they love

I'm tired of seeing friends near and dear to me deal with trauma by those sorts of shitheads. I'm tired of not being able to reach out to them meaningfully because of the inherent wall in the difference of experiences and being useless in their time of need.

I'm tired of seeing insecure birdbrains target people at their most vulnerable
I'm tired of said insecure birdbrains banding together and making their victims feel like they're alone
Afraid of how these rockbrained losers somehow have power and can use it to make their lives hell

And I'm tired of not being able to voice stuff like this or act like a gentleman in general because it's a fact that guys only act nice when they want something out of you.

All my life, all my fucking life, I've had to hold back on how I act and what I do, hiding myself beneath layers of disingenuous aloofness to be able to say or do nice things to mitigate the very real concern that I might have ulterior motives when being nice.

Let alone expressing any altruistic thoughts because predator guidebook 101 dictates you seem socially conscious in an attempt to get people to trust you.

I'm overly conscious of every single thing I say or do because I'm afraid it might seem like I'm trying really hard to get on someone's good side and it's because I know all too well how good will has been weaponized by manipulative... whatever expletive I haven't used yet.

So yeah, all those guys being called out right now? All the more that will surely follow suit and I expect they do?
Fuck em
All of em
No sympathy
Give me all the reasons to not need to be polite to them if I see them, shame them whenever they rear their heads.

I'm goddamn tired of dealing with fuckboys of all kinds and flavors, I'm fucking tired of not being able to be nice because shitheads have made it a sign of ulterior motives, I'm hecking tired of the best people I've ever met being scarred by them.

Thank you to everyone for putting up with me, let's hope I don't shit the bed.
Have a nice day.

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