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I was thinking this morning about public call-outs, in particular the not uncommon practice of tweeting something "correcting" an individual who says or displays something that may seem racist or sexist or otherwise wrong.
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Now let me say before I go further: Black lives matter, and they're getting a very raw deal today and have for ages. Women's lives matter, and they too, have had a raw deal. Gay, bi, trans lives, ditto.
As a society, as a people, we've not given everyone a fair shake.
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As a society, as a people, we've not given everyone a fair shake.
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That's far more important than what I'm about to say, which is about publicly calling out things people say or do or display that appear counter to those important thoughts.
I think public calling out does not work very well.
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I think public calling out does not work very well.
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It doesn't work very well because it immediately sets up an "I'm right, you're wrong", even an "I'm good, you're apparently evil" relationship right from the get-go.
No one goes around thinking "I'm wrong and I'm evil". Everyone thinks they're about right.
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No one goes around thinking "I'm wrong and I'm evil". Everyone thinks they're about right.
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So if, when we're not as right as we might be, not as good as we might be, we need to be brought around slowly. That's not likely to work in a public situation, and not in a situation that starts with "calling out".
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I want to suggest "calling in". Pull the person aside as say "can we talk privately?" Then deal with the concern very gently. We might have a shot at raising awareness, a shot at changing a mind.
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I could be wrong. I frequently am.
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