it’s become very clear to me (via jewel + gem’s ig live convo) that there are nuanced levels of accountability and it’s important to be explicit when moving through those.

what i saw tonight was jewel attempting to hold gem accountable on behalf of the victim, while asking for accountability as someone who was in direct community with gem, but with the intention of holding them accountable to the digital community.

it also became clear to me that not all of the direct community was considered in the decision for gem to deplatform for 6 months. and they should have been.

yes, we should center survivors. and, we should consult the direct community.

it made me sad that jewel had no idea what resources or folks gem was meeting with to hold themselves accountable and to dismantle their patterns of harm. her being in direct community meant she should have been made aware. her and others.

we, the digital community, should not have had to witness that. jewel’s language towards the end “i hate having to do this to another black person” made me feel sickish. it felt like shame, like crucifying.

this was supposed to be a conversation. you dont do conversations — you *have* them. i dont think jewel was the right person to facilitate this conversation for the digital community. i think she may have been the right person to facilitate the convo for the local community.

also on deplatforming (in general!): social media is a fickle thing. most who go viral don’t plan on it. if they deleted instagram tomorrow, we would all be “deplatformed” and rapists would still have community.

is the ask rooted in not wanting rapists to have social media at all, or not wanting rapists to have community? can isolation and exile transform harm? are we never supposed to hear / see / think of these people ever again?