Extracts from the plague diary of Mark ne-Francois-Pepys

July 1st 1665

Up and after my morning victual of Monster on Sugar Puffs, by coach to watch The Johnson enacting our national anxiety dreams, his language so naked of sense we approach word immunity and in pledging to

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spend 75d on each of us to build build build, with Brextoration costs at 400d per head I believe we are billed billed billed, and in salapandering to the developers pocket by waging war on newts, the most nature depleted nation on earth table may soon be crested.

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This lunchtime with the boy Bridgen to UK snack capital Leicester ere its citizens are placed in full lockdown (exempting site-visits to Barnard Castle), stockpiling Melton Mowbray porkpies and Walkers and the foreman there is a Sultan Vinegar, who discourses that wicked

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unelected rogues command The Johnson, that it is not in his nature to gainsay any thing that relates to his pleasures and that this arises from the sickliness of our Ministers of State who are but floaters in the chamber pot, these Jenricks and Patels so enchanted with their

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own steaming rank that all gravity is said to be lost. At Whitehall all the town talk is now-a-days of Lady May and her extravagancies, her hair about her ears; naked-necked and speaking freely more than she ever used to of Michael Gove, whom I took for a very learned man,

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but she tells is a git, of little learning more than the basic tory cunning who never did nor never will do any thing but for self-interest, and in axing an expert security man and replacing him with a sycophantic makebait, drowns in a fermenting hypocrisy so deep not even

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his wife can reach him: and so home in great pain in my back by the uneasiness of the boy Bridgen’s coach driving hard over the stones whilst sat on a pallet of smokey bacon, and to supper in great pain, and after a pork pie, to bed, where not able to turn myself all night.

Thanks all, I have to reiterate, I just find these diaries under my patio each day.

Also thanks to @sophieplowden for this superb image which gives me an opportunity to tag @michaelgove who I forgot first time and who I'm sure will be interested to read about his ancestors.