Things everyone (especially the soflo community) need to know about rape, sexual assault, and violence against women
1) In working with victims of domestic violence (DV), AS WELL as their perpetrators, let me tell you something. They’re not a bunch of ill mannered men in wife beaters. When you meet someone who is an abuser you’ll be confused because they’ll probably be extremely respectful
and kind, which will make you question whether or not they’re truly abusive. So all you boys getting defensive of your friends, take a minute and step back. YOUR experience with them is pleasant, but you will NEVER be victim to their violence and will never experience that side
of them. Do not let your worldview of one person destroy your logic. What agenda do women have against well charactered men that we would SCHEME and have several people go after their character? Where is the logic? Why would we put ourselves in a position to be dragged by y’all?
2) Do not be fooled by men who try to appear as “allies”. Dont let anyone get away with minimizing or making little of the current situation, nor shld you allow anyone who appears to be making last ditch efforts to absolve themselves of the current accusations cloud your judgment
The only way to fix the situation is to move forward in working on yourself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Your apology means nothing to someone who you assaulted, you can never take back the fear that lives with them now. All you can do is DO BETTER.
Work on your own self awareness, admit to your power and control issues and then learn how it manifests in your actions, find a class you can take on how to unlearn violence against women, and for crying out loud get a therapist.
3) I don’t care if the person accused is your friend. Many of you have retweeted about being an ally to victims of sexual assault, now is your time to support these women and your SISTERS in the community.
If you believed other women when it came to men you don’t know personally, what is different now? Y’all go way back and have memories?
Everyone needs to ask themselves what is their line? At what point do we hold those in our lives accountable for their actions? Do you excuse a man who has exhibited predatory behaviors and/or has sexually assaulted women?
4) To anyone who tries to say we should conceal the faults/sins of others: I wholeheartedly agree. However sexual assault/ predatory behavior falls under two categories. Sin AND oppression, and we WILL call out oppressors.
Men have no right to our time, bodies, or affection. It is given and that is that. For you to TAKE it forcefully is an act of oppression and I pray Allah gives justice to those that are wronged in this life and the hereafter.
Mu’adh ibn Jabal reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said: Beware of the supplication of the oppressed, for there is no barrier between it and Allah.
And Allah knows best.
And Allah knows best.