Email
The family have got themselves a lawyer and he's presumably from the Lionel Hutz law school as he has said he sees "no reason" why an individual exception to Brexit rules couldn't be applied to them.
He has asked to call me as the their "local representative".
The family have got themselves a lawyer and he's presumably from the Lionel Hutz law school as he has said he sees "no reason" why an individual exception to Brexit rules couldn't be applied to them.
He has asked to call me as the their "local representative".
WhatsApp from idiot son
He's googled the Mayor and seen he is a Rugby fan
Wants to know if Six Nations tickets would "smooth him up"
He's googled the Mayor and seen he is a Rugby fan
Wants to know if Six Nations tickets would "smooth him up"
I have advised idiot son that bribing an official in France is a serious matter. He said,
"The French have always liked a bung, that's how the Channel Tunnel got made."
"The French have always liked a bung, that's how the Channel Tunnel got made."
I have a call with the lawyer at lunchtime.
Quick message from idiot son's boss.
"Do keep an eye on him for me. He has a habit of getting into trouble. Last year he fell off a bridge in Hemel Hempstead"
"Do keep an eye on him for me. He has a habit of getting into trouble. Last year he fell off a bridge in Hemel Hempstead"
Suggested to lawyer we talk via Skype, he said,
"I'm not keen on that sort of thing"
I don't know what to make of that.
"I'm not keen on that sort of thing"
I don't know what to make of that.
I suggested Microsoft Teams but he said,
"Same problem, once the camera is on, it's on for ever. Then they can watch you"
I'm not sure who "they" are.
"Same problem, once the camera is on, it's on for ever. Then they can watch you"
I'm not sure who "they" are.
Good news the lawyer is not a nutcase just a man who prefers traditional phone calls. Seems he worked on a privacy case some year ago and there was evidence of cameras being turned on without permission.
Phew - was worried for a moment.
Call in 5 minutes to discuss
Phew - was worried for a moment.
Call in 5 minutes to discuss
OK this may take a while to go through so expect multiple posts.
The lawyer is for real and a nice reasonable man who has known the father for some time.. He was confused as to why I was involved, I said I was too.
The lawyer is for real and a nice reasonable man who has known the father for some time.. He was confused as to why I was involved, I said I was too.
He had been told I was their local "legal expert", I made clear I'm not and have no involvement in this. Then he said, "
Well I think you are involved now"
He will not discuss his conversation with the family for obvious reasons but did say that should another client ask for his
Well I think you are involved now"
He will not discuss his conversation with the family for obvious reasons but did say that should another client ask for his
advice on this matter the chances of obtaining an exception were zero. Speaking to a mayor would make no difference. I told him about the bribery conversation. He said,"
"O God not again" I then told him about idiot son's visit tomorrow, there was a long period of silence
"O God not again" I then told him about idiot son's visit tomorrow, there was a long period of silence
and then he said,
"He's a man of various talents but he needs watching"
"He's a man of various talents but he needs watching"
Message from son, he's heard I know about the bridge incident. Said,
"It was not my fault that was down to Darren and his obsession with road signs"
So many questions.......
"It was not my fault that was down to Darren and his obsession with road signs"
So many questions.......
On his facebook page
"Off to France tomorrow to sort out stuff for my parents house. Not going to let some Frogs push my family around, Brexit is about not letting them push us around anymore. Might have to go to Brussels as well if they no listen. Wish me luck "
"Off to France tomorrow to sort out stuff for my parents house. Not going to let some Frogs push my family around, Brexit is about not letting them push us around anymore. Might have to go to Brussels as well if they no listen. Wish me luck "
He just sent me a message asking how far is it from my house to Brussels. I said about 850km.
He then asked for the distance in miles as he,
"Doesn't do French lengths"
He then asked for the distance in miles as he,
"Doesn't do French lengths"
There will be no more tweets today as I am taking my wife out to dinner tonight.
I trust you all have a pleasant day and I will return tomorrow to give you updates on his journey. I know he has an early Eurostar crossing and will arrive in Paris mid morning.
Good evening.
I trust you all have a pleasant day and I will return tomorrow to give you updates on his journey. I know he has an early Eurostar crossing and will arrive in Paris mid morning.
Good evening.
One last tweet.
To all the people saying I use a stock photo in my bio. Yes of course I bloody do, I write under a nom de plume so I'm hardly likely to use a real photo of me am I ?
Twats.
To all the people saying I use a stock photo in my bio. Yes of course I bloody do, I write under a nom de plume so I'm hardly likely to use a real photo of me am I ?
Twats.
At midnight he sent me a WhatsApp message,
"You and me tomorrow Mark are going to show them, we'll win this. That mayor is going know all about my family, they think they can do us but they can't. He'll take a good drink I know he will, they all do."
My name's not Mark
"You and me tomorrow Mark are going to show them, we'll win this. That mayor is going know all about my family, they think they can do us but they can't. He'll take a good drink I know he will, they all do."
My name's not Mark
Text from our Mayor.
Every single person who works for the Mayors office will be there tomorrow plus the Mayor's wife and two sons.
Every single person who works for the Mayors office will be there tomorrow plus the Mayor's wife and two sons.
WhatsApp message received,
He's just arrived at St Pancras station, his mother is with him to "see him off". He has my HP sauce..
He's just arrived at St Pancras station, his mother is with him to "see him off". He has my HP sauce..
Email from the father,
"I hope you and xxxxx can get this sorted out. It's so unfair the way we are being treated. France should not do this. We have always done things right there like putting our rubbish out etc. My wife is very upset and does not understand it all."
"I hope you and xxxxx can get this sorted out. It's so unfair the way we are being treated. France should not do this. We have always done things right there like putting our rubbish out etc. My wife is very upset and does not understand it all."
I replied to say yes as neighbours we always appreciated their commitment to good dustbin etiquette and I would be sure to remind the Mayor of that in the meeting.
He wrote back with a smiling face emoji and a thumbs up.
He wrote back with a smiling face emoji and a thumbs up.
I texted our Mayor with their comments on putting their bins out. He replied,
"l'élimination des déchets est importante"
Maybe this will be the clincher ?
"l'élimination des déchets est importante"
Maybe this will be the clincher ?
Update. His Eurostar train was cancelled but he never checked so when he turned up at St Pancras there was a row and he's now been thrown out of the station. He said "them in Brussels" cancelled the train on purpose to stop him coming over.
He's also lost his shoes.
He's also lost his shoes.
He has a new ticket for a later train.