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For you folks who aren't trans, if someone you know trusts you enough to come out to you as trans, this most assuredly is not a "sudden thing."
We may realize who we are at different times, but it's not something that appears out of thin air. 1/
We may realize who we are at different times, but it's not something that appears out of thin air. 1/
The lengths of time vary, but chances are pretty good that the person has known they're trans for quite a while.
Just because YOU didn't know doesn't mean that their transness didn't exist. 2/
Just because YOU didn't know doesn't mean that their transness didn't exist. 2/
That said, those of us who come out realize/admit who we were at different times.
I knew when I was 10 or 11, but circumstances led me to bury it for a long time, so there were decades where I buried it and didn't give out obvious signs. 3/
I knew when I was 10 or 11, but circumstances led me to bury it for a long time, so there were decades where I buried it and didn't give out obvious signs. 3/
When I came out, to a person, nobody guessed this is who I really am.
There were a lot of responses on the order of -- "You always seemed so miserable/sad/etc." or "You had a lot of walls up."
Walls. No shit. I had my issues secured like Ft. Knox (except not). 4/
There were a lot of responses on the order of -- "You always seemed so miserable/sad/etc." or "You had a lot of walls up."
Walls. No shit. I had my issues secured like Ft. Knox (except not). 4/
The way we present ourselves, the things we like, what we do before coming out are not always an indicator of the same after.
And they aren't mutually exclusive to our past selves, either. 5/
And they aren't mutually exclusive to our past selves, either. 5/
I remember a co-worker in my early coming out days.
This was over two years before transition. I'd just shaved off the denial goatee not long before.
She said, "This is a little weird for me. I only know you as this uber-guy who likes sports." 6/
This was over two years before transition. I'd just shaved off the denial goatee not long before.
She said, "This is a little weird for me. I only know you as this uber-guy who likes sports." 6/
I said, "I still do. It's just the uber-guy part that's laughable."
Fast forward three years later, after a period where we disconnected and she told me, "Now that I see these pictures of you, I can't remember what you looked like before."
Our desks were 10 feet apart. #Score 7/
Fast forward three years later, after a period where we disconnected and she told me, "Now that I see these pictures of you, I can't remember what you looked like before."
Our desks were 10 feet apart. #Score 7/
The point of all this is to remember that this isn't a whim or "sudden move."
Whether we're binary or not, we can carry over any amount of interests over as our true selves and still be true.
Please be kind and supportive to your family and friends who come out. 8/
Whether we're binary or not, we can carry over any amount of interests over as our true selves and still be true.
Please be kind and supportive to your family and friends who come out. 8/
They're trusting you enough to come out to you and/or they know they have to.
Don't be the asshole who ruins that trust or makes their fears reality.
Show love and empathy. Be there for them. 9/fin
Don't be the asshole who ruins that trust or makes their fears reality.
Show love and empathy. Be there for them. 9/fin
