Thinking about "Change of Sex" (ATU 514) type folktales around the world and how much it matters how exactly we tell them. The basic plot is simple: princess, dressed as a man, sets out on adventures and eventually changes into a male body through magic.
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I struggle with these tales, mostly because I feel like it's not my place to tell them. But some are also amazing, complex stories that I like digging into.
I don't particularly like the "she disguised herself as a man" and the "you have to be male to marry a princess" thing.
I don't particularly like the "she disguised herself as a man" and the "you have to be male to marry a princess" thing.
There is an Albanian version where the king's youngest child flat-out says "men's clothes have always fit me better." When he changes into a male body at the end of the tale, it feels less like "a curse" and more as something positive.
The Ossetian Nart version is very Mulan-like: hero dresses as a man to avoid punishment to the family for not providing a son. When accused of being a woman in disguise, the community demands she should find a wife... as a proof for being male.
She does, with the help of 2 gods.

The two gods give the hero an apple that changes a female body into a male body - as a wedding gift. I've always wondered if she actually ate the apple, or she just went back home like "look, I have a wife, I'm obviously a man!" and the two of them just lived happily ever after.
(I'm posting these musings because they might be useful for someone who feels like these stories speak to them. If you need sources, hit me up.)
There's a Hungarian Roma version I like. For a folktale collection I wrote it down with a gender neutral name and pronouns ("Rose" can be any gender in Hungarian tales). It was an interesting exercise in how much the gender wasn't necessary for the story.
http://multicoloreddiary.blogspot.com/2016/02/folklore-thursday-princess-that-turned.html
http://multicoloreddiary.blogspot.com/2016/02/folklore-thursday-princess-that-turned.html
Also an interesting moment of this tale type is all the saints slinging sex-change curses at random people. Like, St. Peter's horse gets stolen and he just yells "if you are a man, turn into a woman, and if you are a woman, turn into a man!" That's your go-to curse, Pete? Really?