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In my recent experience with a sexual assault case where I supported a survivor, I learned a few things I’d like to share.
It’s not that difficult to do things the right way. There is only one right way to deal with sexual assault. You put in place your civic duty and report the offense to the local police station via an application of an FIR where you detail the crime.
Do not kid yourself. When a man sexually harasses a woman, it’s a crime against the state and you must report it.
Because the guy has probably done it to others. Especially if you have the vocabulary of power dynamics. and the means to report, it’s important that you do because young women from other communities cannot.
When I helped the “survivor” (not victim) report her statement at the local thanna I was helping file under the sexual assault law, it was the police that advised me to file under more relevant laws that expand punitive action. They said this offense does not deserve bail.
The police was polite and inviting and their language did not contain any victim blaming or honor references. They simply did their job and filed the FIR the next day and nabbed the culprit after tracking and corroborating his digital data.
The statement of the girl who faced the assault was recorded in Urdu, followed by an entry into an electronic system. Later I got a call to ask how my experience at the police station was and if I had any behavioral complaints to launch. There was excellent follow up.
Within 90 mins of the FIR the culprit was nabbed. Once he confessed the next day the courts decided his hearing date and as I write this, the law is taking its course.
It was a great learning experience for me, because my whole life people have made such a big deal about reporting - assuming that it will be a coal walk. You will never know unless you do it. It felt really good to trust the law and to bit be disappointed by it.
I also want to challenge girls who face harassment to walk into the nearest thanna record their statements with the sitting woman constable, and follow up. I didn’t use any reference or influence to protect the young girls identity, and the privacy of the woman was protected.
I want to encourage them to not be afraid of the consequences, because we overhype the fall out. Many women do not report because they wait for permission from their male relatives. The contract is between you and your country. There is no guardianship law in Pakistan.
If you give the men in your life power to give you permissions, they will be enabled to sit on your head. Remind them that if you have documentation, your guardian and protector is the state and the law. And you have a right to privacy.
Men all over the world will grant women permission based on their own comfort. They will not care about how a woman’s dignity was violated because their privilege doesn’t teach them empathy.
It is about time that when a “victim/survivor” feels that they should report a crime, the men should not take women’s right to restorative justice away from them.
When a woman is violated, and her sense of self is harmed, two things give her justice. 1. Timely reporting of facts 2. The support of the law or state to have her feel heard.
Yes family support matters a lot. But sadly our families are inept and only work to victim blame victims. So be it. We are a society in transformation. Some day women will not be blamed for a man’s violence. Some day.
Till then, please trust your country and trust your institutions. They may surprise you.
Special thanks to Suleman sb, SHO Shalimar police station F10, for excellent support, professionalism and utmost respect he showed the young woman while reporting the sexual assault case. All this, amidst a difficult covid resource crunch.
