This will be a bit long so apologies to those who dislike massive threads. Just something I've been thinkin about a lot lately.

So, I wanna preface this by saying that this isnt in regards to any particular case...just been on my mind cause of things we've been seeing on the news and discussing. And we SHOULD be seeing these things and talking about em.

I want to talk about my experiences with police.

Growing up in a reserve beside a very small town in Quebec, you have negative run ins with cops. I don't think that shocks anyone. What might surprise some tho is that some of the most overtly racist encounters didnt happen THERE.

As a teenager, youre used to getting messed with

It wasnt uncommon to have cops tell you to get back to your reserve or chase you on your bike. I've seen dudes get hit in the head with flashlights as an opening move. I've been pepper sprayed, once in the mouth while breaking up a fight. Ive never been beaten, roughed up a lil

Theres a lot I've forgotten as I get older - in the town beside the Rez, IMO it actually got a bit better when the SQ came in, as opposed to the town police. There were a lot of town cops who grew up there who had racist beliefs. Nevertheless, it wasnt what Id call "good".

Once, when I was going to college, I was in a vehicle that got stopped on the way from Maniwaki to Hull, around halfway. I was with two very upstanding citizens, both teachers now. No outstanding tickets nothing wrong with vehicle. I dunno why they stopped us.

Anyway, it was raining hard out and they asked my name. I gave it to them and they asked me to step out of the vehicle.
Now, I know, you could get into legality of this / procedure BUT we all also know they may mess with the driver / vehicle owner and --

I didnt want to make problems for this couple who had generously given me a lift. I stood outside in the rain for around a half hour while they ran my ID and questioned me.
There's a guy from my reserve who shares my legal name. Were close in age - I was born in the States and -

my parents didnt know that a kid was born a few months before me with the same name.
Anyway, they claimed that they thought I was him, despite him being around, I'd guess 5'10, 165 lbs, brown hair and me being 6'1, around 220 lbs with black hair.

One of the cops even said something like "There are more than one person with this name on your reserve??" incredulously. I asked politely if that had never happened in Quebec.
After some time I asked if they were done and they said yeah.

On another occasion, years later, this time in Hull, I was working in Ottawa and living with a friend at his condo in Hull. Nice area. Not rich, but nice. We went for a walk around dinner time to go to the corner store to get some food.

It looked like rain was coming but hadnt started yet. Anyway, we're walking - not driving + a cop car pulls up and orders us to stop. They want to ask us a few questions. We ask why - no calls of "suspicious activity" or anything - but driver cop says "This is an expensive area"

Cop: "Cmon theres no way you can afford to live here." Takes our IDs, runs em. Finds nothing. By this point its raining. They take their time and ask a bunch of dumb questions, enjoying watching us get soaked.

We've told em we were just going to buy some food --

I ask cops if theyre done with questions, cause we're hungry, wet and cold. Cop says "I thought your people were good in the cold."
They laugh.

Theyre gonna go but before they do, passenger cop decides to leave a parting gift. He says "Youre from Kitigan Zibi eh? I'm one of the owners of the Subway in Maniwaki. I see you fuckers sometime early in the morning like at 6 or 7 am. They say theyre going fishing. --

He adds "I'm like fuck you, youre probably drunk and havent slept yet."

I calmly ask. "Are you done?"

He says yes and they drive off.

Why do they do this? Lets talk about that.

Racism is part of why they do this. Of course - but why they do it the WAY they do it ...when conditions are poor...why they say things to try to egg you on.

They WANT you to mess up. They want you to get angry. Agitated.

They try to provoke a heightened, emotional state, --

They want to make you nervous, anxious, frustrated, make you say the wrong thing /get aggressive.

You KNOW this, but youre human. Its easy to see how, at times, people can struggle to maintain composure.

But don't @ me with "dont break the law and the police wont bother you"

That's not how it works for all people.

Don't @ me with "report these incidents" because you dont know the repercussions OF them. The reason I didnt was because I knew they would be gunning for me after and they wouldnt have faced disciplinary action anyway.

My stories are light. I got off light, easy. I'm still here. But people need to recognize that this is something that does happen and police, frankly need to stop doing them.

For youth: I hate having to say this. I feel like I DO tho. I know its hard. I know it sucks, but you have to maintain your composure. You have to stay strong + not give them a reason.
No matter how unjust, what they say 2 rattle you. It's not about morality. It's about survival

As a kid, I was hardened. I grew up in a tough environment and I was a product OF it. As you age tho...mature and yeah, get to be softer, you start thinking about these things. That you're lucky to be here. That things could have gone another way.

These things we are seeing and talking about, in all honesty, I can't always do it. because it doesnt affect me the same as it did when I was a kid. Because I can see myself or kids who look like me in these situations. And now as a guy getting older, I dont handle it the same.