Read on Twitter
Over the past year I have lost over 3,000 followers. It started happening when I stopped writing about mental health on here. It was funny that as soon as I started talking about positive things, instead of over-indulging in pain, people didn't want to listen anymore.
To be quite honest, though I still enjoy writing personal essays, I don't really like writing tweets about mental health anymore. For many reasons. Losing so many followers has made me see that people are only interested when I'm struggling.
I also felt like I was having to support thousands of people virtually, even when I was struggling myself. The amount of people who reached out to me compared to the amount of people acknowledging my tweets of support for them was staggering.
I felt like it was a one-sided thing. Don't get me wrong, I have so many followers who do look out for me and check in and for those of you who have stayed, thank you <3, but I felt like I had a responsibility to encourage so many people, and though I'd love to do that...
When you're having a hard time yourself it just feels fake. Which I don't ever want to be.
Asides from this, and I know I will lose a huge amount of followers for this, but I really think a large part of the mental health community is toxic. There have been recent 'advocates' preying on vulnerable women, others lying, others bullying.
There also seems to be this competition to be the best 'advocate'. And I've seen a lot of bitchy comments about people not being good enough, not doing enough, not important enough to call themselves 'advocates'. News flash, you are immediately an advocate if you care...
About mental health. It doesn't matter how many followers you have or how many retweets you get. It doesn't matter whether your illness is 'more serious' or whether you've been diagnosed or not. There seems to be this really toxic feel to the 'community' lately.
I also hate the idea that being a 'mental health advocate' is all there is to me. I am a lifestyle writer. I cover mental health, health, sex, relationships, families, fashion, parenting, property and travel. I am a mum. I am a musician. There is so much more to me than having..
A mental illness.
I also always wanted my account to be authentic and real. All of my tweets have been original, personal tweets. But they're are frequently copied and pasted as someone else's words, and it just makes me feel like my account isn't authentic.
I also always wanted my account to be authentic and real. All of my tweets have been original, personal tweets. But they're are frequently copied and pasted as someone else's words, and it just makes me feel like my account isn't authentic.
It's really weird when you write something about your own pain and someone tries to pass that off as their own in an attempt to gain retweets and likes.
And lastly, becoming a mum has just made me realise that my life doesn't need to be consumed by mental illness. I live with it daily, and so my other activities don't need to be absorbed by it, too. The bottom line is that really, it was just making me really, really unhappy.
So that's why I've taken a step back and will continue to do so on here. I will still write about it, but on my own terms - through personal essays and articles, through my book and maybe sometimes on here. But I won't be doing it every day
I also just really hope that the mental health community relaxes a little and accepts that not everyone is an expert. What matters is they're trying. That's what we should be caring about.
