Do you know what it's like to be love-bombed? have you had this experience before?

It's super effective, because it makes you feel good. It makes you feel appreciated and special and a lot of the time, seen.

sometimes it's so affirming and so nice it'll make you cry.

Do you know what it's like to have someone talk to you-only to you, with no one else around-and feel like you're being honored with a look inside a person who has shared their pain and vulnerability to you? who has entrusted you with a secret, and you're so moved you share too?

Do you know the warm glow of knowing something only the two of you have shared? that you're special, and secret, and the fact that it's secret only makes it more so?

I'm going to ask you a question.

How long did you know this person before they let you in?

not that long?

Be careful.

Be very careful. Because you're dealing with someone who-at best-doesn't have good boundaries.

At worst, you're on their hook.

Now let me ask you something else--

do you watch what you say around this person, because if you say the wrong thing, or if you have even the mildest bit of feedback for them, they will get upset? in a way that makes you feel really bad? will they withdraw interaction from you, making you feel lonely and wrong?

it's cold outside the love bomb, friends. it's so cold. and it feels so lonely. and it feels like it's your fault.

Now let me ask you something else.

Has this person ever apologized to you about anything that really mattered? or anything, for that matter?

because I don't know about you. but my friends do things that hurt or discomfit me, and when I say so, they listen to me. they make an effort to understand what they did. they tell me how they're going to change what they did. They apologize.

if your friend doesn't, well.

Now let me ask you something else.

When your friend asks you for a favor, and you don't want to do that favor, no matter what reason you have...

how comfortable are you saying that you can't or don't want to?

can you say no and still be okay?

I'm not asking you if you feel bad for saying no. I hate it when I can't do something for a friend.

I'm asking you if you can safely say no to them without being back in the cold lonely place, outside the love bomb. I'm asking you if you can say, "I can't" and still feel warm.

Let me ask you something else, even though this might be the most un-fun quiz in the entire world

if you are part of a friend group with this friend, can you do things with some friends that don't include this friend?

Can you have friends that aren't friends with your friend?

Thread broke. Continues here: https://twitter.com/clpolk/status/1277332892138389504