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Many of the 'good girl' students we teach exhibit perfectionist streaks - and these are too often encouraged by schools. They might include:
* 'Pinterest ready' font-style headers
* Not writing much because they're afraid of getting it wrong
* Excessively small, neat handwriting
* 'Pinterest ready' font-style headers
* Not writing much because they're afraid of getting it wrong
* Excessively small, neat handwriting
* Pressing so hard on the page the pen dents it
* Staying 'safe' with right answers rather than taking risks, and developing the ability to write a challenging argumentative response.
* Ages fussing with glue and scissors to stick in sheets
* Staying 'safe' with right answers rather than taking risks, and developing the ability to write a challenging argumentative response.
* Ages fussing with glue and scissors to stick in sheets
* Lots of crossing out (often scribbling out to hide their errors)
* Not contributing to discussion through fear of getting it wrong.
*Spending too long on homework, unable to make simple decisions to get started
* Redoing 'untidy' work.
* Not contributing to discussion through fear of getting it wrong.
*Spending too long on homework, unable to make simple decisions to get started
* Redoing 'untidy' work.
* Self punishment - forcing themselves to miss something fun if they didn't get something done/right
Perfectionism is more common in women and girls of all ages than men and boys (though both do experience it).
Perfectionism is more common in women and girls of all ages than men and boys (though both do experience it).
Studies suggest it continues into adulthood; the cliche of men applying for jobs with 60% of the success criteria, women with 90%+
In brief, challenge it by:
* setting realistic, clear expectations of quality, quantity and time.
* Ask what someone else would do or say about their work
* Get them to practise setting their own limits and timings
* setting realistic, clear expectations of quality, quantity and time.
* Ask what someone else would do or say about their work
* Get them to practise setting their own limits and timings
* Tell them your struggles with difficult things - normalise difficulty and dstruggle in learning
* Exposure practice - create places for them to make mistakes, deliberately messy drafts, decide an acceptable level of imperfection.
* Empathise, reward and talk about it
* Exposure practice - create places for them to make mistakes, deliberately messy drafts, decide an acceptable level of imperfection.
* Empathise, reward and talk about it
* Use model answers genuinely within their reach
* Help them create 'getting started' habits especially for homework.
* Keep success journals
* Help them create 'getting started' habits especially for homework.
* Keep success journals
