Read on Twitter
Okay a few things.
a) Let nonbinary people define themselves for themselves. If I say I'm a nonbinary woman and my partner calls me their girlfriend, they're not misgendering me, because I defined myself as such.
a) Let nonbinary people define themselves for themselves. If I say I'm a nonbinary woman and my partner calls me their girlfriend, they're not misgendering me, because I defined myself as such.
b) The same goes for the mentioned boyfriend here. They themself refer to themself as 'boyfriend' and you have to fucking respect that. They are a they/them nonbinary boyfriend to someone. If you invalidate that, you're a sack of shit.
c) Language is staggeringly slow when catching up to nonbinary people. The few words we have as it is are not sufficient to explain our experience and our identities and how we relate to others: notably words for parents, partners, children, family members, etc...
d) We use language as best we can to describe our reality. We use what words we take or make and use them to describe ourselves as best we can. If you storm in and "well actually" and "no" us when we do this, you're a bigoted sack of pig's vomit.
e) Additionally, identity is not either/or. Identity is not a set of rules you have to follow. Identity is very, very nebulous at the best of times, and the labels we use to talk about ourselves reflect who we are, who we are does not reflect labels.
The words we use to talk about ourselves are descriptive, not prescriptive. Pronouns are not gender. Familial titles are not gender. We use them to describe ourselves in ways we feel most comfortable about ourselves and our relationships.
To say that a nonbinary person calling themselves boyfriend or girlfriend is 'misgendering' is fucked up if it's the word THEY feel most comfortable with. You, no matter who you are, are not entitled to take that away from them.
f) Gender is not a game of tick-a-box where if you tick enough boxes in one category you "get" to be man or woman or nonbinary or agender or someone else.
It's the exact opposite. Our genders, as complex, as unique as they are signify different things to the individual.
It's the exact opposite. Our genders, as complex, as unique as they are signify different things to the individual.
g) If you hop on your identity police wagon and decide to come and police someone on these grounds, you're included in who we refer to when we say ACAB.
Fuck gatekeepers.
Fuck identity police.
You're discount TERFs.
"But I'm trans too."
I said what I said.
Fuck gatekeepers.
Fuck identity police.
You're discount TERFs.
"But I'm trans too."
I said what I said.
h) I'd go so far as to argue that trans TERFs are actually fucking worse than cis TERFs because of EVERYONE in the fucking world you'd think they'd know better.
But 'fuck me, got mine' is a very potent drug to these people.
But 'fuck me, got mine' is a very potent drug to these people.
i) This impulse for trans people to be "THE RIGHT KIND OF TRANS PEOPLE" is sickening. I am not remotely interested in respectability politics and "you can't be trans if you don't perform transness correctly or invisibly or with deference to the gender binary or ableism or..."
"But they're never going to accept trans people if we aren't respectable."
Honey.
If they don't take us for who we are, they never will for who they want us to be.
If we were who they wanted us to be we'd be cisgender or dead.
Honey.
If they don't take us for who we are, they never will for who they want us to be.
If we were who they wanted us to be we'd be cisgender or dead.
"But these people make trans people look bad."
Doing right is better than looking right.
Being authentic is better than "OPTICS" (TM).
Protecting trans expression and diversity is better than sucking up to the fucking fash.
Doing right is better than looking right.
Being authentic is better than "OPTICS" (TM).
Protecting trans expression and diversity is better than sucking up to the fucking fash.
I will never look the way they want me to look, your literal options you're offering me are 'detransition or death'. Which for me means 'death'.
Fuck your optics. Fuck your respectability politics. Fuck your gatekeeping. Fuck your prescriptivism. Fuck your boot sucking.
Fuck your optics. Fuck your respectability politics. Fuck your gatekeeping. Fuck your prescriptivism. Fuck your boot sucking.
One day I will present male, and then female the next, and then androgenous the next, and then who knows, and you'll still fucking respect my gender and pronouns and sexuality.
If you don't like my beard, you can pay for the laser hair removal I want.
Till then, I'll shave when I can, or rock an awesome beard when I can't shave.
"But you don't look trans."
I'm trans and I'm visible. This is what trans looks like.
Till then, I'll shave when I can, or rock an awesome beard when I can't shave.
"But you don't look trans."
I'm trans and I'm visible. This is what trans looks like.
