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One like = one of my dumb, but very good and correct, Star Wars opinions
Midichlorians are a good shorthand for how foolish and technocratic the Jedi order had become. Their reduction of The Force to "do you have a high midichlorian count? We have a test!" shows that they had lost it, completely. No wonder Yoda went to live in a swamp.
"Han shot first" doesn't have to be an article of faith, and the ridiculous lengths to which Solo went to rehash that moment added nothing to the character.
All Star Wars films could be half an hour shorter without losing anything.
Anthony Daniels gives the best performance across all the films - consistently, for more than 40 years. His sidelining since Episode One is outrageous, even though Threepio is obviously an unlikeable dick.
The malaise in modern Star Wars fandom can be directly traced back to the Episode One trailer.
It's almost painful to watch Lando in ESB. Oh, you've found a single Black man and he's a duplicitous lothario? Cool, cool, cool. Sure, we know he end up as a stand-up guy, but oof.
Death Star II was very funny in retrospect, because it showed how utterly out of ideas any large, successful organisation becomes. The Empire was basically at the "this razor has FIVE blades"/"uhhh... Dyson... hairdryer?" stage.
Disney+ should carry the Droids & Ewoks cartoons, Battle for Endor/Caravan of Courage and, yeah, fuck it, the Holiday Special. It's more embarrassing to look ashamed of this stuff than to just own it as part of a blockbuster franchise of children's movie.
Starkiller Base is a fucking stupid name. Yes I know it's a reference to Lucas's first draft of The Star Wars BUT THAT'S WHY IT IS SO BAD. Lucas cut it because it was stupid. Making a nerdy reference isn't a personality, Abrams.
Rogue One is a mostly-OK Star Wars flavoured action flick which has been elevated beyond its actual merits by a two-minute scene at the very end, although that is an exceptionally good scene to be fair.
The lesson of Disney acquiring the franchise and IMMEDIATELY shitcanning the expanded universe is - don't trust anything outside the films and TV shows. If it didn't happen on screen, assume it didn't happen. Enjoy it, by all means, but don't rely on it for your understanding.
No one needed an explanation of why Emperor Palpatine looked all old and fucked up by the time of the original trilogy.
Episode IX is barely a film, but I'm going to watch it several times simply because it's part of the series. Fandom is essentially brain poison.
I would like to have seen more Jedi haircuts.
The Birth of Vader sequence in RotS is brilliant; the petulant, confused Anakin in the badass killsuit of Vader. But people don't want character development in a beloved villain. He doesn't properly chill out until after Obi-Wan is killed, tbqhwy.
It would have been unsatisfying, but Leia should have died off-screen between VIII and IX. The way she is inserted into IX is ugly and disrespectful. "What's that, Leia? You're going to communicate with Kylo? It'll take all of your strength?" It's like having Link in the role.
"The Empire Strikes Back is the best" is a tired cliché that shouldn't be true any more but it is so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
There's literally no way anyone who wasn't Force-sensitive could navigate a speeder bike through a dense forest, so I'm saying those Biker Scouts killed on Endor were all potential Jedi. Good going, Luke, you just lost like a whole class from your stupid failed Jedi school.
The best bit of the Special Editions was the added shot of the Falcon taking off from Mos Eisley - it sort of wobbles like a dinner plate on a stick, then wooshes off. You couldn't have done that in 1977, and it gave the ship an extra jolt of life, of personality.
I genuinely think - because it fits with Lucas - there's something in Ring theory http://www.starwarsringtheory.com/ and this makes the Sequel Trilogy even more frustrating. It could have taken the rhymes and flexed with them, but instead it aped or frustrated the originals.
(addendum: like, The Last Jedi is great but it's only great in the way Rogue One is great. It relies entirely on the audience seeing a Star Wars film getting upended and snapped. It would have been better as part of another story, where it didn't disjoint the sequence)
The Clone Wars should have been, like, Obi-Wan fighting multiple versions of himself and Anakin having to decide which one to laser-sword. Dead Sith inhabiting clone bodies to continue their fight. "Stromtroopers are all Boba Fett's dad" was the least interesting possibility.
