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I personally know (visibly female) lesbians who are regularly assumed to be trans or are "they'd" regularly who are literally terrified (often regarding employment or school) of telling people they are a woman b/c of the political & social consequences. Thanks, LGBT community...
And they say there's 0 pressure to transition! How do you think this affects women who are already alienated from their body or have gender conflicts, who have little social support outside a trans-heavy LGBT community, or who struggle with social communication or anxiety?
I have had both trans people & older lesbians who are "trying"- AT MY RETAIL JOB- come in and "correct themselves" very loudly & obviously when referring to me as a woman or a lesbian. I often let it slide b/c how the fuck am I supposed to navigate that AT WORK...
I'm fortunately not generally scared to correct people when I can but I know people who absolutely are. Sometimes they just don't want to disappoint acquaintances who are (correctly) reading them as a kind of gender nonconforming or make it seem like a "big deal"...
Other times it can be reason to suspect someone of being a "TERF". B/c (in the other person's eyes) why WOULD you make such a fuss about being a woman if you "look transmasculine" & the only thing tying you to womanhood is being female? Hmm... VERY suspicious...
The women I know in this position are being driven slowly & totally nuts. Everyone knows these women are female. Everyone is acting like these women need everyone to pretend that they aren't. And if a woman says hey, I'm a woman, and no I don't, it's HER that is punished...
I have to point out that this is a particular social burden on lesbians. Very feminine gay men get the "are you trans" question, it's true, and it's disorienting and fucks with them, but they are not punished in the same way for telling others they are men...
It's a paternalistic & condescending trap for GNC women. Why else would ppl be so entitled (& they get SO angry) to believing they're helping you by projecting their misogynistic gender discomfort management onto you as something you actually wanted...
The gay community's in fucking shambles if this level of misogyny & anti-lesbian sentiment is normal. When we've got lesbians too afraid to recognize other lesbians & that there's a potentially unbridgeable gap between themselves & anyone too GNC, we're all too sick to function.
