thinking about how many times a day lwj must wordlessly thank mxy for his sacrifice every day... he's a very sincere person so i imagine he does it; every time he wakes to see wwx sleeping next to him, again when wwx makes a noise in his sleep and grips onto lwj's sleep

clothes so that he can't leave him to get dressed, thanks him again that he can kiss wwx "good morning", to appease him as he lets himself out of his grasp. he thanks him several times during breakfast, just because wwx is there next to him, and he can reach out to

move his hair from his face lest it get caught in his food, he thanks him again when wwx drapes his body dramatically over his lap and woes that his husband is, "so cruel! so merciless! to leave me here, alone, in the cold!" and thanks him twice when he kisses

wwx goodbye and looks back at the doors to the jingshi to see wwx swaddled in their blanket and reading, half asleep and knowing that once lwj leaves he'll fall asleep soon after; he only wanted to be awake to soak up lwj's presence

most likely thanks him a number of times during his morning. he has other things to think about and important matters to tend to, but thanking him comes as a second nature now and as a passing thought.... if he thinks about what wwx might like to do in the afternoon or

what he might like for lunch, maybe he'd like some tangerines? acknowledgement and gratitude for mxy and the sacrifice he made just follow right after with such a delicate ease. he thanks him during said lunch and the afternoon spent in the fields or tending to the small lotus

pond they have towards the rear of the jingshi. he peels lotus seeds for wwx as wwx feeds him the once he's already peeled, years ahead of him with practice, and thanks him again that he gets to do this, that they are able to do this

and that they have time. they have so much time. i imagine mxy's spirit receives hundreds of thanks whenever wwx cultivates, another reminder of the time they have together, and that in this life wwx once again possesses a golden core that he will form and shape and

give life to.....

the evenings are for quieter thanks... lwj most likely gets caught up in his gratefulness sometimes, so much that it can almost turn to being sorrowful.... he brushes wwx's hair for him after their bath and thinks how like wwx's original body's hair it is, yet softer and more

manageable, laments the fact that he was too late to know what it felt like between his fingers but in the next moment wwx whines that if he carries on brushing he may just fall asleep in his lap and pulls him out of that thought so that he can finish

several more thanks are given before they sleep, thanks that they can be together, in more ways than one, and the same simple thanks that he gave that morning simply looking at wwx beside him in a tangible form, one that he used to fear was only borrowed but

now is at ease knowing wwx isn't leaving again, this body is his and he has made it his home

and i guess sometimes wwx must get stuck in his head with gratitude in a different sense. and not that he forgets to thank mxy, but i suppose sometimes he dislikes thinking about the fact his body once housed a soul so unhappy he decided to give it away

but he's thankful for the life he has and takes advantage of all the simple pleasures that he wasn't allowed in the last years of his life... but i suppose in the quiet hours of the night, draped half over lwj and listening to his heartbeat, the anxiety must hit him that

if not for mxy, he wouldn't have this. any of it. and i think lwj is in-tune so much with his husband's needs that if wwx was restless enough, he'd wake and try to soothe his worry by prying an answer from him that is, "i didn't thank him today." because it must feel

awful to forget such a thing. but lwj is as sincere as ever when he says, "i thank him enough for the both of us." and that's enough, it's enough.