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Hey! Are you a person who has behaved badly in your professional community, and now fears that people you harassed, assaulted, or otherwise mistreated will speak publicly about what you did even though "you've changed?"
You can name yourself instead. That's an option you have.
You can name yourself instead. That's an option you have.
If you have actually changed, you can publicly accept accountability for your past behavior and talk about what you've done to redress the harm instead of waiting to see if people you hurt will retraumatize themselves speaking up about you.
Advantages to naming yourself include:
- relieves your victims of fear that they won't be believed
- opportunity to explain steps you've already taken to address the harm you did
-evidence that you're actually sorry about what you did rather than being sorry you got caught
- relieves your victims of fear that they won't be believed
- opportunity to explain steps you've already taken to address the harm you did
-evidence that you're actually sorry about what you did rather than being sorry you got caught
Caveats:
-don't fucking name the people you hurt without their consent, they can name themselves if they want to
-you're going to want to have taken--or at least announce--real steps towards accountability, like stepping down from positions of power and abstaining from events.
-don't fucking name the people you hurt without their consent, they can name themselves if they want to
-you're going to want to have taken--or at least announce--real steps towards accountability, like stepping down from positions of power and abstaining from events.
-no one gives a fuck if you've gotten therapy. Therapy is mental health care, not accountability to the community you harmed. Talk about what you've actually done.
-close comments on the post. People you hurt don't need to see your friends 'forgive you' for things that aren't theirs to forgive.
