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I just blocked someone I considered a friend. 
I REALLY don't like blocking or cutting ties w/people. It makes me sick to my stomach. But I can't agree w/ this friend's moral compass. I sure as hell can't just sit back while someone transforms from an advocate into a stalker.
I REALLY don't like blocking or cutting ties w/people. It makes me sick to my stomach. But I can't agree w/ this friend's moral compass. I sure as hell can't just sit back while someone transforms from an advocate into a stalker.
Exvies in general have poor social skills & decision-making skills. It's a terrible side-effect of "never being taught decision-making skills, b/c you're always taught to seek God's will." In general, I have a LOT of patience w/fellow Exvies, b/c I treat ppl the way I wish I'd
...been treated when I started questioning authority. I don't EXPECT good social or decision-making skills from Exvie friends, but I DO expect compassion, & respect for the autonomy of another person.
One of the WORST things I think we can do as Exvies, or members of ANY group,
One of the WORST things I think we can do as Exvies, or members of ANY group,
....is expecting newbies to be at the level we are now.
I 1st saw this in my D@ve R@msey days, & hated it. New forum members would come in w/questions, & older members would POUND them for their mistakes, knowing FULL WELL that they were once newbies too, & are only there b/c...
I 1st saw this in my D@ve R@msey days, & hated it. New forum members would come in w/questions, & older members would POUND them for their mistakes, knowing FULL WELL that they were once newbies too, & are only there b/c...
....they made the same mistakes themselves! It became SUCH a toxic atmosphere, bc there was no compassion for, "They just haven't learned that yet."
Exvies should EXPECT that people who emerge from Evangelicalism are wounded, bleeding, in need of healing & validation, & just
Exvies should EXPECT that people who emerge from Evangelicalism are wounded, bleeding, in need of healing & validation, & just
...don't know ALL the things they have to learn yet. Things like, "When it's appropriate to use words that I grew up thinking were okay." Or, "When I should give someone unsolicited advice." Or even, "When an argument is worth winning, or when I should walk away." NO ONE in their
...initial cry for help recovering from a lifetime of authoritarian indoctrination is going to have ANY CLUE of alllll the ways they need to grow. But we start by stopping the bleeding.
I know this seems kinda vague, but I was stress-eating Oreos tonight (GF/DF!) & have a....
I know this seems kinda vague, but I was stress-eating Oreos tonight (GF/DF!) & have a....
...bit of a stomach ache, lol. Good night friends. We can't get it all right, but we can love the people around us, & try again tomorrow. 
