I’ve been thinking a lot bout the way people are apologising for past behaviour, in these current times.
And I’m generalising here - all kinds of behaviour, racist, sexist, abusive etc.
There’s this wording people are using: I’ve learned I have a lot still to learn

Which definitely accounts for “I didn’t realise what I was doing or saying or thinking was harmful to others” or “I didn’t realise X or Y was sexist/racist/harmful"

Which is … Ok, you didn’t realise your actions, you had never thought about them or reckoned with them or your own privilege, you were ignorant of their context or history and so on.

We are all within the system.

Unless we question, and interrogate, and wrestle with our own thoughts, actions and instincts, we can’t break out of the system. And we can’t break the system.

Excellent.

That’s Step 1.

I don’t know about you, but what I need from apologies is Step 1 PLUS a Step 2 —> a “this is what I am going to do now/or differently”.

Sorry and remorse and regret are IMPORTANT. Absolutely.

Harm and trauma deserve and require recognition and remorse.

They do.

But

What changes?

How do YOU go forward differently?

If you’ve behaved in a way that locked people out, shut people down, turned people away, broke people …how are you NOW going to reach down and pull someone up?
How are YOU going to walk in the world differently?