I want to share a story about Scott, the unlikely Buddha of Quora. It's not a story with a happy ending—he's been missing for years, so CW and all that—but I find it really compelling and I think it deserves to be shared.

From his LinkedIn, Scott appears to be a normal guy—a freelance UX designer. Even got a degree a few miles away from me. Scott joins Quora in late 2017, initially just posting a single wholesome Dad comment.

But about one month later, Scott begins posting A LOT more; all in the "enlightenment" topic. Apparently, Scott had once been enlightened, come back down to earth, and then (presumably) in early November 2017 regained enlightenment again, after what appears to be a panic attack.

It seems strange that a sage would spend their time posting about enlightenment on Quora, and at first I thought he was just an arrogant hack, but now I think he was genuinely there because he desperately wanted to help other people find it.

His original story and some other comments seem to imply that Scott may have had some sort of mental illness before awakening. That said, he explicitly and lucidly claims that whatever enlightenment was, it brought him freedom. both from his own mind but also from a sick society.

As the days go on, though, Scott reveals a persistent anxiety—can his awakening be lost? (That's in fact how I discovered him, googling the very same question when I was curious about Buddhism last year.)

Then things get weird. In late November, he starts editing his answers, making reference to something he calls "dual enlightenment". Apparently he drops in and out of his awakened state at will so he can live in a society, but still longs to leave completely.

A day later, his "dual enlightenment" drops away of its own accord and he passes fully into complete detachment, documented in his final Quora post... but there's a catch. He did it by leaving his family.

About a week later, Scott's wife logs into his Quora account and posts a few comments on his last answer. He's gone.

The next year, an old Quora friend of his finds a missing person report with Scott's name and posts it as a comment on one of his answers detailing the experience of enlightenment.

What's strange is that his wife's comments—from *after* the last day he was seen—don't seem to paint Scott as delusional or say anything about the quotes from the police report. Rather that he just... left to find enlightenment and couldn't bring his family along.

It's a story full of ambiguities. Was Scott actually mentally ill? Was enlightenment a cure, or itself the illness? Did meditation uncover a latent neurosis? Did the Quora community *encourage* his mental illness to progress?

What is mental illness, anyways? In a different time, would Scott have been revered as a wise man? Would his departure have been seen as a "break"? Were the pressures of living under capitalism just too much for a Tathagata?

Was he ever enlightened? Did he actually lose it? Was his anxiety about losing enlightenment itself the cause of his breakdown? If this is what enlightenment is like... is it even worth attaining?

Why did Scott turn to Quora to talk about this? Why is it that we feel compelled to talk about precisely those experiences we can't put into words? Can spiritual knowledge be transmitted?

Can you be enlightened while still having family, or is it too much attachment? Is spiritual development a moral imperative, or is it inherently selfish to pull away from earthly duties?

There are so many stories and questions here, all pieced together from a legacy of Quora posts. It's a tragic story, to be sure, but it's also a powerful one. Deep down, I think there's a little Scott in all of us.

(I'm biased though; I had a religious mental breakdown in 2008.)

Anyways, Scott Kurland is still missing, as far as I can tell. If this man seems familiar to you, please let those who are looking for him know. http://charleyproject.org/case/scott-david-kurland