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This man commented on my hypergamy video (link below). He seems like a good dude who means well, but he’s arguing that hypergamy causes substance abuse and all manner of garden-variety relationship problems.
Fellas, respectfully, the hypergamy Kool-Aid has gotten out of hand. 1/
Fellas, respectfully, the hypergamy Kool-Aid has gotten out of hand. 1/
Here’s how I think about theories. When you’re trying to wrap your head around problems and interactions among individuals it’s best not to start with a stupid theory — and all theories are stupid when they are applied top-down before the facts are in. 2/
My theories are stupid too. If I apply them to a problem before I collect data and see where the patterns emerge, then there is a good chance my theories will lead me down the wrong path. That’s stupid. 3/
Shouting “hypergamy” at every broken-down relationship is like shouting “busted spark plug” at every broken-down car. The guy who does that will almost always be incorrect, but that’s not the truly dangerous part. 4/
The real threat is that people will call him a genius on those rare occasions when his stupid theory is accidentally correct. If he’s dumb enough to accept the compliment then he might start to believe his theory holds the answer to every question. 5/
That’s a great way to get blindsided by reality. (Example: blaming substance abuse on a dubious external factor like hypergamy flies in the face of recovery. Reality doesn’t care about your theory, and reality is viciously unforgiving where drugs and booze are concerned.) 6/
Effective problem-solvers don’t storm into a situation swinging their pet theory around like a baseball bat. They start with open questions and a closed mouth. They embrace ignorance. That might seem like a vulnerable position, but it is usually the safest place to begin. 7/
Alright then. Sorry if I stepped on your worldview. I have to go kick some puppies now. Here’s the video for anyone wondering what this hypergamy business is all about. /end
