Read on Twitter
When someone behaves badly, I don't think it's cancel culture for the person they wronged to tell other people about it, & then for other people to think 'eww! gross and creepy and NASTY what an unpleasant person, I shall no longer engage with them or listen to them'
here's why
here's why
The way people view me in my real life is the same as on Twitter because I behave the same.
The way they view me is created by the way I behave, consistently. Like, how else should they judge me?
If I make a mistake and hurt someone, I feel DREADFUL for years.
The way they view me is created by the way I behave, consistently. Like, how else should they judge me?
If I make a mistake and hurt someone, I feel DREADFUL for years.
When I interact with people in public OR private they have every right to talk about my behaviour to them with other people
heck I'm a teacher! Kids talk about their teachers and their behaviour ALL the time to other students and to other teachers.
heck I'm a teacher! Kids talk about their teachers and their behaviour ALL the time to other students and to other teachers.
I'm 45. I've been in A LOT of places with v drunk friends. Do we sexually harass people when drunk? Nope. Big Nope. If one of my friends ever did? No longer a friend.
It's surprisingly easy not to be abusive when drunk.
it's surprisingly easy not to accidentally be abusive
It's surprisingly easy not to be abusive when drunk.
it's surprisingly easy not to accidentally be abusive
So no, I don't think that deciding that I no longer want to follow someone on social media or support their work because of Their Own Behaviour is 'cancel culture'.
I think it's consequences.
I think you should behave better if you don't want people to think you're icky.
I think it's consequences.
I think you should behave better if you don't want people to think you're icky.
And here's the thing - I see those who want to defend the behaviour by it being 'a once off' (it apparently is not) or by alcohol (don't drink if it makes you an a-hole), why didn't someone complain 'at the time' and mostly by their hatred of the feared demon 'cancel culture'.
What I hear? What I end up believing? Is that actually you think that behaviour is okay. 'Just a bit of Fun', 'Not that Serious.'
Here's an example from when I was 18 and newly at University and thinking the world was bright and progressive.
Here's an example from when I was 18 and newly at University and thinking the world was bright and progressive.
(CW assault)
An engineering student, a student politician on the Student Council, grabbed a girl by the hair in the student bar, hauled her head to his groin, and said 'suck my d*ck'
you know what happened to him?
We tried to get him removed from student council
An engineering student, a student politician on the Student Council, grabbed a girl by the hair in the student bar, hauled her head to his groin, and said 'suck my d*ck'
you know what happened to him?
We tried to get him removed from student council
His classmates came to the public debate (why the hell was there a debate?? anyway...). They shouted down every witness for the girl. Then there was a vote (because democracy, yay). Nearly every engineering student came out en masse and voted for him and he stayed on council.
At the age of 18, I now knew that it didn't matter if I was assaulted in public with witnesses, justice was still dependent on privilege.
Also? I realised that my safe space wasn't safe. Thousands of men just declared their acceptance that that behaviour was okay
Also? I realised that my safe space wasn't safe. Thousands of men just declared their acceptance that that behaviour was okay
and that's what you are doing when you excuse abusers on social media or in conversations with your friends.
You are telling your other friends that, were they in the same situation, you can't be trusted to rescue them or believe them.
And that makes me very sad.
You are telling your other friends that, were they in the same situation, you can't be trusted to rescue them or believe them.
And that makes me very sad.
All that to say: if you don't want your bad behaviour called out, don't behave badly.
And when it's called out? We are within our rights to not want to engage with them anymore. That's not cancellation or denial of freedom of expression - it's MY freedom of expression.
And when it's called out? We are within our rights to not want to engage with them anymore. That's not cancellation or denial of freedom of expression - it's MY freedom of expression.
