A quick story-

I dated someone who was a bunch of things that made me wanna stab him, but 1 of the many things that didn’t was that he was PRESENT.

He was very good at noticing when we/I/something needed tending to & being about tending to that with very little guidance from me

And it wasn’t a leaving him in the dark to figure it out situation. It silently resenting him until we fought about it to fix it thing.

It was simply because since he was a person who showed up, he was remarkably aware.

He was one of very few partners I’ve had who was able to recognize signs that I was burning out before I could.

The ONLY reason he was so atuned?

Was because he really put forth an effort.

And every time he didn’t get it right was outweighed greatly by every time he showed up and fucking tried.

So, sure. Men are not conditioned to be emotionally intelligent partners.

But it’s not a lifelong condition unless you decide it is.

I really encourage you to demand that your partners be present; wholly, completely, totally. That you share with them what showing up for you looks like and hold them to the standard.

Dead anyone who doesn’t immediately.

Life will be better when you do.