random incoherent thoughts incoming:

LRT> for some reason my mind's been occupied with the fan-oshi relationship recently. like how inami-san says she wouldn't touch her oshi, for the longest time, the fan-oshi relationship has mainly been one-sided
you become a fan of someone who does things that you enjoy watching/listening to. there's limited interaction you can have aside from that. sure, you can write letters or send them flowerstands, but you definitely wouldn't expect to get any reply, or even a mention, in return
maybe you get lucky and get a reply on twitter during the rare occasion when they do a twitter reply thing, or get your letter read on radio, but those instances are few and far between

like inami-san put it, there's a sense of distance between fan and oshi
but with some... newer forms of entertainment, we're seeing the gap between fan and oshi shrink considerably

now your oshi can read your comments, thank you for throwing money at them, retweet your fanart, reply to your random tweets regularly, and call out people they remember
you can become that person in the community who not only is known by every other fan of said oshi, but also by your oshi. your oshi can make reference to your fanwork, or even use your work as part of their work

what you say, what you do can actually affect what they do
it's a... strange feeling to say the least

after subscribing to what you could call the "traditional" fan-oshi distancing, its pretty jarring to be brought into a world like this

i'll admit, there are times when it feels a little off, when it rubs me the wrong way
it's like there's now a way to buy your oshi's attention. and by that i don't mean just literally by throwing cash

drawing fanart, talking about them on social media, replying to their tweets, subtitling their content

all of these become ways to potentially get their attention
and of course i don't mean to say that everyone who does these things are all sinister with ulterior motives and are doing all these things just to get noticed

but it does still feel strange for simping to actually have an effect
call me traditional or old-fashioned or stuck up or whatever, but i think im the type of person to not want to interact with my oshis directly. i dont want their attention, and i certainly dont want what i do or say to influence them

so i guess i'll continue staying invisible
now that im here i have no idea what i was supposed to be building up to with this thread

thanks for reading if you made it this far, i guess?
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