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I stand with @ShawnaGore and I believe her. Concern for her safety and needs as the victim comes first above all else. I believe her because I knew Scott Allie well. @takisoma and I became as close as family, we watched his kids, vacationed with him.
He Edited my book about the story of my own sexual abuse as a child. He lied to us both, right to our faces about this and more. We confided every detail of Takis' CBLDF experience and he took every detail in, while he shared nothing.
We thought it was because he had nothing to share that was relevant. When his story broke, we knew nothing of his past. No rumors, nothing. We had long talks about what he did in SDCC and the parallels with Charles Brownstein and my own past abuse.
We asked him about other incidents and he lied, omitted truth and manipulated us. He wanted us to blame his alcoholism, and I know first hand because of my mother’s alcoholism that criminal acts are criminal acts. Alcoholism is alcoholism. They do not go hand in hand.
As part of this larger conversation about culpability, I take responsibility for my part. While I never defended him, I FUCKING STOOD BY HIM for awhile because I believed his lies and believed he could be helped. I now understand that I did not put the VICTIM first.
It took a friend to pull me aside and tell me stories of his abusive behavior when we finally cut him off. It was nothing as awful as what Shawna’s told, but enough to walk away. I later learned he was manipulative and abusive to @johnwordballoon on my Art Book too.
We just keep hearing more and more, and it’s terrifying how blind I feel. I am ashamed for being compassionate first, instead thinking of the VICTIM first. I should know better, I lived through that for 13 year relationship with @takisoma
THIS is why we need to talk about these things and evolve. I was culpable in this too.
I will never deny my mistakes and will take responsibility for them and taking responsibility, I think in part, is to learn from it and figure out how I can do better, to be transparent in humility WITHOUT DEFENSIVENESS-
Because we can all learn from each other. I can learn from @ShawnaGore, how to help create a community with compassion because she spoke. We have to keep talking, keep learning and most important, we need to focus on the victims, on what they want and need.
