I see that some people are floundering at the prospect of not being able to ask anyone out if they're "not allowed" to corner, grope, make lewd propositions or manhandle a woman

These are difficult times and I realize that no one actually taught you

so here goes

if you are at a convention and you are talking to someone you think is fascinating and attractive, the first thing to remember is that you are not owed anything simply because you are interested.

Please also get right with the idea that if a person doesn't return your affections, that this person is still a worthwhile person to talk to, be friendly with, and maintain cordial relationships with in the future.

This person is a person. please treat them accordingly.

Guidelines for a first date invitation:

1. Make it in a public area.
2. don't suggest an activity that requires special clothes.
3. don't suggest an activity that is time locked.
4. Don't press for a yes. if the answer you get is ambiguous, TREAT IT AS A NO and be gracious.

suggestions for a convention:

1. offer to meet them for AM coffee or a light breakfast in the hotel's facilities. Ask them if they have any plans for AM to about tea time.

2. STAY IN THE HOTEL'S PUBLIC AREAS.

3. you could ask to attend a particular panel, but not dinner.

If the person you ask out says no, say "okay, cool." and immediately have a new subject to talk about.

This person is likable, even if they don't want to date you, or hook up with you. Like them.

If they say yes? Some Do's and Don'ts...

1. Do come prepared with your best *conversation,* and keep flirtation in your back pocket.

2. Pay attention. Watch for signals of discomfort, which isn't the same as being adorably awkward.

3. Ask about the person's life. Ask more questions.

4. went well? ask for another date

Turns out they didn't catch on that this was a date? That's okay. how do they feel now that they know? again, if they're uncomfortable, back off from that. They're still likable. change tracks to friendly colleagues.

It's simple. Be observant. Read the situation. Ensure comfort.

"But they didn't want to date me!"

That's okay. Not everyone does. You made a friend, and because you were respectful and attentive, you made a good impression.

But more than that. You didn't hurt the person you were interested in.

You're moving through the world with grace.