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I want to share a conversation I had with my mom the other day after she read White Fragility, to show you what's happening. My mom at first glance could fit the Karen stereotype: white, middle-aged, from Bay City, MI. She has probably exhibited Karen behavior before as well 1/16
she told me she was scared to pick up that book. she was afraid it would expose her. it did. a majority of the examples in that book called out things she had done in the past. she admitted to being defensive, and admitted to her fair share of 'white women's tears' 2/16
she admitted that what struck her the most the part about white silence upholding white supremacy, she definitely had played a part in that. she told me that after admitting this to herself, she decided to not be silent anymore amongst her white friends 3/16
she told me what happened at her most recent happy hour with her friends 'definitely karens.' they asked around the table what everyone was reading. when it was her turn to share, she told them she was reading 'White Fragility.' she said that everyone at the table instantly 4/16
got defensive and started berating her. now, she didn't suggest anyone read it, or even talk about the content of the book yet..she merely shared that she read it, and was met with defensiveness and vitriol from her friends. 5/16
she then got into an argument with one of the women about George Floyd's murder, where the woman was trying to explain the intricate circumstances of how he happened to die 
(ahem, bullshit), basically bending over backwards to justify this murder. the next part struck me 6/16
(ahem, bullshit), basically bending over backwards to justify this murder. the next part struck me 6/16
my mom then asked, "do you think he deserved to die?" and she said the woman paused, fumbled over her words, and tried to dodge the question. My mom plainly asked her again... and the woman couldn't definitively say "No." 7/16
at that point, my mom decided to the end the conversation and shared she couldn't continue it, if that woman couldn't say "no" to that question. she refused to continue the conversation with somebody who didn't value the humanity of Black people. 8/16
she said she was somewhat ostracized from the group at the hh, but one woman was open to reading the book and learning more. it was a tense moment for her, but she felt obligated to do so. on our phone call she said, "i probably lost some friends doing that, but fuck em" 9/16
there are 2 main things i want to highlight here: 1)there are likely white people in your family &/or friend circle that don't value Black lives. they may not verbalize it explicitly, but in the way they answer q's, you'll see they don't value our lives the same. 10/16
2) by challenging these people in your circles, you'll likely sacrifice your white privilege + your social capital. you'll lose your social capital for calling out the often unspoken social contract of white supremacy. 11/16
this loss of social capital will come many forms: your aunt/uncle parents calling you a snowflake, or being accused of ruining dinner, or being called 'radical/abrasive', or losing friends. you'll lose this for simply defending Black lives and challenging white supremacy 12/16
if you're really about this Black Lives Matter shit, this is one of the sacrifices you need to make. The Black square you posted on June 2nd, showed that you *might* care. it's not enough though. the middle isn't enough. 13/16
if you're REALLY about it, you need to be ready to risk that capital. you'll probably lose some friends. but you'll also probably find some people willing to risk that capital with you. 14/16
my mom said she was embarrassed it took her this long to be this active about it. I told her that she should be - it's necessary to understand your role in upholding white supremacy in order to challenge it. but now you know what you can do to make a change. 15/16
thread over. i'm happy to see a lot of y'all risking that social capital for justice. it's inspiring to see. this shit isn't over though, and we need to keep pushing in every way we can. 16/16
