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I'm gonna say something real quick about the "I'll be your safety if you're being harassed, come find me" pledges, because I've seen several: folks mean well but harassers also make these pledges.
If you're a person who will back people up, that is probably already evident from your behavior, and people who know you well enough for it to make sense for them to trust you probably already know that.
There are multiple people I don't know super well whom I would 100% walk up to at a bar and say hey I'm being harassed please walk me out of here. Not because they've made a pledge, but because I've seen them support victims, check their friends, speak up against harassment.
And I fully understand wanting to advertise that people can call on you for this because it seems like a small thing we can do to make spaces safer, but the situation is more complicated than that.
A thing I'd suggest instead of making a pledge: stepping in without being asked. when you see something fishy--and not just assault but just like, anything where notice that someone looks uncomfortable.
Earlier this year I was at a thing where someone was demonstrating a carnival ride type thing and the person on it was saying "no, this is too scary, I need to stop!" so I said, "hey, dude, she said stop." He did.
Maybe she was kidding, but we normalize that no means no.
Maybe she was kidding, but we normalize that no means no.
Be the person who asks people if they're okay.
It won't solve every problem, but especially if you're powerful, it may be a way out you can offer someone in a rough spot that doesn't require them to navigate who they can ask for help.
It won't solve every problem, but especially if you're powerful, it may be a way out you can offer someone in a rough spot that doesn't require them to navigate who they can ask for help.
