this is a tough one & I’ve been talking about it privately with a lot of people who feel similarly:

did you feel alienated all your life & finally find a group where you’re welcome?

that doesn’t mean all other marginalized people are also welcome there

learn this

as soon as they accept you, look around for who’s missing

the above is a really important lesson in nerd communities like roleplaying games,

where almost everyone felt alienated & then finally found a group where we felt welcome

if this sits uncomfortably with you, let it stew, then look around for who’s missing

some starters:

is almost everyone white?
cis?
straight?
ages 21-35?
able bodied?
middle class or richer?

Did another marginalized person ever tell you your community isn’t welcoming? How did you react?

Did you try to convince them it was welcoming, actually?

Did they stay?