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I’m not going to name names, or where this took place. I have very little experience in game journalism admittedly. Despite this I am proud of what I was able to do and more importantly, meet people who I greatly respect and love to this day.
But,
But,
Let me make something very clear. KNOW YOUR WORTH, AND DONT SETTLE.
It’s not a secret I am really anxious and have a shit ton of self esteem issues. When I started doing video work for a site I was just happy to be a part of something.
It’s not a secret I am really anxious and have a shit ton of self esteem issues. When I started doing video work for a site I was just happy to be a part of something.
But as I got more involved I expected more out of myself, and that left me with a lot of internalized guilt. I measured my self worth but what I could produce and when I couldn’t (for external life shit and mental health reasons) I blamed myself.
At one point, I told one of my bosses that I’d forgo payment for a while because I felt I wasn’t adequately making content consistently.
They agreed.
They agreed.
I’ve replayed this scenario many times in my head, as I do with everything. And it was only until a year after I quit how wrong it was. Yes it was incredibly stupid of my to insist and not get paid.
But a responsible and sensible manager would never ever agree to that. If your employee comes to you with issues about their productivity, you help them, ask what can be worked out. NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THEIR GUILT AND NOT PAY THEM.
I’ve made mistakes, I’ve fucked up multiple times. But that doesn’t erase nor excuse what I DIDNT get for what I did create and produce.
Many at that site worked hard as hell for very little. And there was a conscious effort to try and improve the site and the work environment
Many at that site worked hard as hell for very little. And there was a conscious effort to try and improve the site and the work environment
But a lot of those ideas and concerns were shut down. The site didn’t want to move forward and many of us didn’t with it and left. Many of those who left are still doing great things, and while I may not speak with them as frequently as I’d like, I very much care for them.
Know your worth, listen to people, and treat others with respect. Treat people like people. My heart goes out to many of those coming out with their stories, a lot of which are absolutely horrible.
And to my friends and colleagues, new and old, I love you all. Let’s keep moving
And to my friends and colleagues, new and old, I love you all. Let’s keep moving
