I’ve been sexually harassed by a stranger twice this week. Two different men. And it has effected me a bit.

I think isolation in lockdown had made me forget how regularly it happens to many/most women. I’d lost a bit of my immunity to it, perhaps that’s a good thing

#metoo

A reminder of its prevalence, and how it doesn’t seem to decline with age, though no doubt younger, more vulnerable women experience it more often.

And it’s just horrible. Particularly when it happens in an otherwise normal situation, doing a regular activity.

In some senses, while no less acceptable, when it’s a drunk letch in a bar or club, it feels less awful than at 10am in the middle of the street.

The first occasion was 10am Monday, & a jogging man slowed to walk right beside me, kept pestering me to workout with him, made homophobic comments about gay guys and sleazy comments about me. Refused to go away and followed me in to a shop I hoped would provide refuge.

He waited for me to finish my transaction and only appeared to leave the vicinity when I took a phone call from a colleague.

I walked two long figure of 8s on the way home because I was scared he was following me & would find out where I lived. It made me late for work meetings.

The second occasion was today. I walked past a man with two cockapoos (I am a renowned animal lover) & said to him, “I bet people always say this but your dogs are gorgeous” as they playfully wagged their tails at me.

He was smartly dressed, and looked like a professional. His eyes went up and down and he replied, “Actually, usually they say I’m gorgeous”, and then he proceeded to make pathetic sexual innuendos at me continuing as I scurried off. Guy 1 was young, Guy 2 looked 60+.

The worst bit is that these both happened so close to home. I don’t want to have to think twice about going out alone, which route I should jog or what time of day I leave. This should be a safer space than most places. I’m angry at those men for taking away my spontaneity.

These types of men do it to a lot of women. They don’t discriminate. It’s not flattering. It’s a numbers game to them. “Eventually it might pay off” is their likely thought process, if I’m being kind. If not, it’s a perverse power game & they get off on making someone feel scared

This isn’t about me, I’m fine and I’m not posting this for any sympathy so please,
no need to say you’re sorry this happened because I already know many of you will be.

I’m posting it as a reminder of how far we need to go. To remember that the patriarchy legitimises this shit

And because I think lockdown may have made some of these pathetic individuals worse - they’re now free to unleash what they’ve not been able to do for so long and they’ve missed it. They can smell the freedom to perve, intimidate and humiliate.

Of course most men aren’t like this. But the people who do it are almost always men, and the times it’s women are so infrequent as to be statistically insignificant.

So, yeah, that’s it really.

The #Metoomovement is still needed
we must still talk about sexual harrassment and;
we must empower young men and women to spot it, challenge it, and hopefully one day, end it.