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I'm real interested in this "object permanence" discussion involving ADHD. It's popped up a few places now and I cant stop thinking about how well it fits all kinds of relationships in my life.
I'm not an expert, just someone with ADHD and experiences. But I'll explain.
I'm not an expert, just someone with ADHD and experiences. But I'll explain.
First the "object permanence" discussion is pretty straight forward. It proposes that people with ADHD forget about things that they dont see or interact with often enough.
The thing about that with people is that they pretty much stop existing for prolonged periods of time.
The thing about that with people is that they pretty much stop existing for prolonged periods of time.
What does "stop existing" mean? Let me frame this with the language I used before knowing about this.
There's room for maybe 5 people's lives to exist within my sphere of remembrance. I'll think about how you're doing, maybe talk to you a few times a week. See each other often.
There's room for maybe 5 people's lives to exist within my sphere of remembrance. I'll think about how you're doing, maybe talk to you a few times a week. See each other often.
That sphere is based on who I see the most often. They're constantly refreshed in my mind because they're physically interacting.
When a person's existence is text online tied to notifications and emails, they slip out of that sphere.
When a person's existence is text online tied to notifications and emails, they slip out of that sphere.
Last year I forgot my best friend's birthday. I LOVE my best friend. She's saved my life on multiple occasions. We used to live together for a long time and it was such a loving a supporting time for us both.
We dont live together anymore. I forget she exists. All the time.
We dont live together anymore. I forget she exists. All the time.
And I think it has to do with juggling focus. It takes a lot of effort to forcefully program and remind myself to do all sorts of things. Without certain tools, organizations, or structured systems, what I deem important is only supported by significant interaction.
I'm going to keep looking around and studying and talking to others about this, because there's more language out there and plenty of doctors studying how this works.
It's just amazing to hear these things vocalized and see how huge an impact it's had on me.
It's just amazing to hear these things vocalized and see how huge an impact it's had on me.
For a long time I've felt like I dont care about people enough BECAUSE everyone stops existing unless we both work together to keep being there. But, that's just how it is in the noggin.
Quarantine really ain't helpin.
Anway, hope ya gained something.
Quarantine really ain't helpin.
Anway, hope ya gained something.
