A thread ranking bananas:
1) The Dwarf Cavendish Grand Nain. Big, yellow, ubiquitous. Grows well, travels well, makes up 99% of the export market. The Coors Light of bananas. (Also: going extinct, but we'll get to that later)

Lady Fingers, known for being small, thin-skinned and sweet, kinda like my ex. The trees have strong roots that make them resistant to challenging conditions, also like my ex.

The silk banana of the Philippines. Apple like flavour that is slightly acid, like your elderly aunt who throws shade at weddings

The Gros Michel. Previously the world's number one banana, until it succumbed to Panama disease. Now serves as a cautionary tale of hubris. The Lance Armstrong of bananas.

The Señorita, a small, short-lived and extremely sweet exotic only found in the tropics. If holiday romances were a breakfast fruit, they would be this banana

Somehow I broke the thread. Will putting this link here repair it, or create an infinite loop? Only one way to find out: https://twitter.com/SciencePunk/status/1275718016458727424