Read on Twitter
that comics thing is so bad for so many reasons lol
on the surface, calling out friends and colleagues on bad behavior is all but not done in adult relationships and even well meaning people tend to lack a framework for starting those conversations
there is a lot of DiScouRSe about how "abusers can be nice to you but still hurt their victims!" which means if you think that, you have to believe some dudes truly are not seeing what their friends do and someone in this has to be more vigilent or change what they look out for
not all abusive situations are cis men abusing non cis men and we extremely lack ways to have that conversation or how to look for signs of that - which leads into something else - calling out abusers only happens if it's a community bad actor
a lot of irregular abuse dynamics happen privately; even if it's among people in a community it usually doesn't have the urgency of a situation that effects that whole community. this goes for cis male abusers too -if the damage is contained to a private relationship nobody cares
like so many things in life, if your trauma is not zeitgeisty or easily packaged you're kind of screwed. in all this recent stuff i've seen people who I know for a fact happily sidle up to people who have caused abuse apologize for associating with designated community bad actors
blah blah too many thoughts but basically as always I don't trust anyone to really care about things too much unless it benefits them and the language of abuse and trauma is muddled and we lack language to talk about people just straight up sucking and and and
I wait till I'm tipsy to do this stuff so I never sound so smart that someone thinks I made a "good thread"
