What I find truly wild & gaslighting about @TheVerge article re: #notmycrisistextline is that any halfway decent/trauma informed mental health worker (ie prob all the coaches & supervisors) will clock Lublin & co’s rebuttals as classic abuser tactics for maintaining control. https://twitter.com/angramify/status/1273277450433118208

Particularly relevant here is DARVO, an acronym that U of OR Psych Prof Jennifer Freyd developed to describe a common reaction amongst perpetrators when held to account for their behavior. DARVO=
Deny
Attack
Reverse Victim & Offender
#NotMyCrisisTextLine
#dosomethingdidnothing

Using quotes from/about Nancy & co from @TheVerge article:

Deny:

“Ashley Womble, the manager who’d questioned the relevance of Ahmaud Arbery’s death, disputed: [...] ‘As I’m sure you can appreciate, I am disheartened by these false accusations.’”

#notmycrisistextline

Also Deny, as well as Attack:

“‘In a memo emailed to @TheVerge , a spokesperson for Nancy Lublin wrote that ‘many of the complaints about Nancy are coming from disgruntled and anonymous former employees who were fired for performance issues [...].’”

#notmycrisistextline

Reverse Victim & Offender:

“Lublin’s friends and advocates saw a 25-year career up in flames without a thorough investigation. While such an investigation might not have saved Lublin’s reputation, it could have quelled allegations about a disgruntled Twitter mob.”

(Also @TheVerge , referring to employees using the tools they can access in order to demand dignity & try to heal, as “public shaming” is sloppy journalism at best. It’s not shaming, social media is just a new kind of equalizer for transparency.)
#notmycrisistextline

Back to DARVO.

One of the white&pink elephants in the room here is that you just know that these nonprofit execs are the same liberal white women marching on DC in pussy hats, or decrying Kavanaugh—whose confirmation hearing sparked ppl outside academia beginning to cite DARVO

It’s sickening & it’s exactly what BIPOC folks, esp women & TGNC ppl, have been saying & saying re: why they don’t trust white women. The always defaulting to racial privilege over all else.

Compare Lublin & co’s rebuttals against Kavanaugh’s; tell me you don’t hear the echoes.

I think highlighting the parallels between racial abuse and rape culture (which was always intrinsically/historically racial anyway but got whitewashed) is helpful in convos w/ or abt white women, bc rape culture is something most of us have an emotional/visceral connection to

So in response to the Nancy & co (&, for reasons no one understands, Andrew Yang) comments that they wish there had been due process, I’m just gonna drop a few names for ya:

Weinstein
Kavanaugh
R. Kelly
Cosby

& no I am not equating Nancy to a rapist.
#notmycrisistextline

My point is this:

We all know: whenever 1 of these names comes to media attention, it’s not b/c 1 person spoke up, or 2, or 3. Etc. It’s b/c so many were hurt so bad that not even the deafening default roar of cishet male power could drown out their screams
#NotMyCrisisTextLine

It’s b/c so much got taken that the victims were left with nothing but the truth & their pain. That’s how bad things have to get for the risk:reward ratio to come out in favor of the marginalized publicly accusing the powerful.
#notmycrisistextline

In all likelihood no one will see these Tweets; I don’t know anyone involved. Like at all. But precisely bc I don’t, I think it’s important to say as a total outsider—I believe you all unequivocally. & Nancy’s comments in that article are the murder weapon.
#notmycrisistextline

separately but relatedly, it is my hope that as white women &/or sexual assault/DV survivors, we can bear witness to the pain of things that should never have been done to us & everything we needed & never got in those moments, by hearing BIPOC folks. Believing them.

This work is honoring and showing respect to ourselves as much as it is showing up for others.