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I keep getting tagged in those “name a writer who’s been good to you for no reason posts” and I haven’t been engaging with them, not because I’m not appreciative. I love all y’all and am glad that we’ve met and get to hang out and be friends on the internet. But... but. 1/x
The whole thing has made me feel a little uncomfortable. At first I thought it was residual notification and social anxiety. And that’s part of it, tbh, but a bigger part is that I’m not sure now’s the right time for it
2/x
2/x
Most of us see a curated con presence followed by an online one. We try to put our best foot forward. None of us can be sure when we’re on the receiving end of the cover persona for a shitty person. and when we publicly proclaim “this person is great!” we could be adding cover 3/
One of the folks that I had a story about doing me a genuine kindness was one that got called out for downright disgusting behavior. And he owned up to it, completely, and talked about what he’s done to improve himself and try to prevent it in the future
4/
4/
I don’t know if that’s enough. It’s better than a lot of folks, but that’s a low fucking bar
And I sure know that anyone who’s been hurt by him doesn’t need to see me crowing about how cool he was to me
We need to foster an environment where people can come forward
5/
And I sure know that anyone who’s been hurt by him doesn’t need to see me crowing about how cool he was to me
We need to foster an environment where people can come forward
5/
[TW, me being shitty] I had my last drink on Dec 31, 2013. I realized I needed to stop a few months earlier
I said things that were inappropriate at best. I did things that made people feel uncomfortable. I hurt people. I got tired of waking up wondering who to apologize to
6/
I said things that were inappropriate at best. I did things that made people feel uncomfortable. I hurt people. I got tired of waking up wondering who to apologize to
6/
I stopped drinking. I got therapy. I’ve tried to stop making people uncomfortable. Not sure how successful i’ve been.
I’ve tried not to hurt people. I’ve failed in a few glaring instances. I’ve apologized, fixed my behavior & tried to make it right but that doesn’t erase it 7/
I’ve tried not to hurt people. I’ve failed in a few glaring instances. I’ve apologized, fixed my behavior & tried to make it right but that doesn’t erase it 7/
Maybe they’ve truly forgiven me and moved on, but maybe they don’t appreciate seeing my name with a group of people talking about how awesome we all are. But we don’t know, can’t know
And folks have done way worse shit than i have
it just doesn’t seem like the right time
8/
And folks have done way worse shit than i have
it just doesn’t seem like the right time
8/
Didn’t write this thread so people would tell me “no way dude, you’re cool!”
Didn’t write this thread so that people would be done with me.
Wrote this because it’s important that we examine ourselves and our friends critically
9/
Didn’t write this thread so that people would be done with me.
Wrote this because it’s important that we examine ourselves and our friends critically
9/
Wrote this because now is not the time to close ranks
If someone tells you I made them uncomfortable, believe them
If someone tells you I’ve committed a crime against them... it would be appreciated if you did some investigating, but sure as hell don’t dismiss them
10/
If someone tells you I made them uncomfortable, believe them
If someone tells you I’ve committed a crime against them... it would be appreciated if you did some investigating, but sure as hell don’t dismiss them
10/
And if someone tells you that they don’t feel comfortable going to a thing I’m planning to be at? Tell me I’m no longer invited. No hard feelings
and if you feel comfortable enough to? CALL ME ON MY BULLSHIT IF YOU SEE IT OR HEAR ABOUT IT
11/
and if you feel comfortable enough to? CALL ME ON MY BULLSHIT IF YOU SEE IT OR HEAR ABOUT IT
11/
As a writing community, we need to be better. We need to make sure to hold each other accountable.
Our friends can’t get a pass just because they’re our friends.
And our heroes? Heroes are stories. And a story is never the whole truth
Sometimes we need to let them burn 12/12
Our friends can’t get a pass just because they’re our friends.
And our heroes? Heroes are stories. And a story is never the whole truth
Sometimes we need to let them burn 12/12
13/12
Maybe I should delete this? It seems self indulgent at best. But for now, tldr:
• believe folks that say they’ve been mistreated/abused
• don’t give your friends a pass
• if you’ve been shitty in the past, work to be better, but no one owes you their trust/respect
Maybe I should delete this? It seems self indulgent at best. But for now, tldr:
• believe folks that say they’ve been mistreated/abused
• don’t give your friends a pass
• if you’ve been shitty in the past, work to be better, but no one owes you their trust/respect
