Thread:

1/ Growing up in an Egyptian household in Canada and the US, I have very few distinct memories of my parents hypothesizing they'd been discriminated against based on ethnicity. Maybe 2-3 times in my whole life. Maybe they were downplaying it, maybe not...

2/ They were careful and measured with these types of accusations. My parents, instead, focused on making friends with our neighbors, my classmates' families, and colleagues from work. I was taught to be a kind friend to others, and also to be wise about others' intentions.

3/ My sister & I have certainly heard more than a few rants about how WE have close families and how WE'd never be kicked out at 18. Dad would scoff that movies never show Arabs having fun or being lighthearted (Egyptians are known for our sense of humor among Middle Easterners).

4/ Still, I've always felt incredibly privileged to have this 2nd generation immigrant background with our rich cultural heritage ... even if I am misunderstood sometimes by those who don't know better. Or even by people who wish my parents had stayed in Egypt.

5/ Growing up when I did, with the familial messages I received gave me a sense of innate security and belonging whenever the elements of genuine friendship are there. Are we exactly the same in all ways? No of course not, but that makes people interesting!

6/ I've also felt fortunate to 'blend in' with so many different communities because of the ambiguity of 'my look,' giving me access to immersive friendships and broadening my perspective on how different people live, love, and commune together.

7/ And in relationships or groups where blending in is much more challenging, it requires some self-awareness not to magnify the "otherness" of people, or fixate on my blistering sense of being an outsider. It has taken time & practice to hold these feelings consciously.

8/ My family focused on staying connected to aspects of our culture that we are proud of and I listened to many nostalgic stories about childhoods in Cairo.

My sense now is that difference is something we ALL notice, and as long as people aren't hateful towards me, that's OK.

9/ I do wonder what might have happened if they'd ONLY emphasized how different we are or that others might judge us because of our background. I'm glad we weren't told to be too suspicious, hyper-vigilant, or even paranoid about racism or anti-Arab sentiments.

10/ When people ask where I'm from or what nationality I am, I've learned to take it as a positive opportunity to share something I feel proud of, rather than reading it as a "microaggression." Yes, I've been called slurs, but ultimately, I feel bad for people who think that way.

11/ Granted, my family is quite privileged relative to most other Egyptians, by our education, our health, our relationships, and our financial security. But then again, similarly advantaged kids are being taught to analyze their oppression tirelessly. This seems bleak & risky.

12/ Had I grown up today steeped in woke culture, how would my sense of pride or identity be impacted? Would I feel helpless in the face of 'discrimination' or assume the worst in others' questions? Would talking about my culture be a source of alienation, rather than connection?

13/ I hope young people today can find ways to retain their own sense of dignity while being pressured to confess racism.

I hope young minorities today, reminiscent of my younger self, will refuse to dehumanize others who are making such confessions.

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