i feel like calling abusers "abusers" is important. i feel like acknowledging real harm done to real people with words that do not sugarcoat the harm is incredibly important. maybe this is because of how often i have been gaslit, but. i need words that have that emphasis.

some of the things that were done to me were awful. the perpetrators of that violence do not get a clean slate or get to act like these things never happened. still, there will be nobody happier than me if they grow to become trustworthy individuals. i don't wish ill on anybody.

for me, calling my abusers abusive isn't demonizing them, or stating that they are not worth humanity. it is saying that these people hurt me in unforgivable ways. get them help. be wary, maybe. but don't make me forgive them. don't make me accept them. don't ask me to love them.